#incredibly fragile gestation

[ovaruling]

god the human spine is such a shitshow. i’d much rather trade back my thumbs and self-recognition for a neutral horizontal spine and pelvis cuz this fucking upright mess is not worth it lmfao worst evolution ever award !

[fluffysminion]

Biology of Fortress Dwarves

So I've been playing a lot of dwarf fortress lately, and one thing I've noticed is that dwarves are weird. So naturally I've spent a lot of time thinking about how their biology might work and I've come to the conclusion that the dwarves in dwarf fortress are marsupials. Hear me out, I promise it will make sense.

Large eyes explain many dwarfisms

Dwarf basics

Dwarves are short humanoid creatures that dig holes and build fortresses. They don't need light underground and get cave adapted if they don't get exposed to sunlight often, making them dizzy and confused when they do encounter it. To see in near darkness they would have massive eyes, and for navigating in total darkness long whiskers. The consequences of having huge eyes would explain two other facts about dwarves, namely the fragility of their skulls and their incredible talent for stupidity. No space for brain or bone in their head, it's all eyes.

They will eat just about anything except other dwarves but they don't need to eat often, something that caused me to initially assume they might actually be a form of reptile but is better explained simply by them having a lower body temperature and therefore slower metabolism than a typical mammal. None of this is strong evidence for any particular theory so let's move on.

Urist McCaveAdapted

Dwarf reproduction

Married heterosexual dwarf couples can have babies. Lots of babies. Dwarf women can have aproximately one baby a year, thanks to their short gestation period and the fact that they can become pregnant again immediately after birth. Pregnant dwarves show no outward signs of being pregnant, and birth happens while the mother is about doing her job - which will be interupted as she then looks for the child. Now the main advantage of the marsupial pouch is precisely that, allowing young to be born early reducing the risk to the mother from the birthing process and allowing the mother to get pregnant again sooner. Marsupials are born tiny and able to crawl, so it would make sense that the first thing they need to do after giving birth is find the baby and make sure it makes it into the pouch.

A dwarf mother in a rare moment of remembering her baby exists

Dwarven childcare

Dwarves are babies for one year, during which time their mothers never put them down (unless they are washed down a drain or other misadventure). The mother is able to act normally while carrying her baby, even doing things like fighting or tasks that require both hands. So she must be carrying the baby in some other way, and a marsupial pouch would be ideal for the task. Even the issue of chest deep water causing mothers to loose their offspring makes sense for marsupial dwarves, as one of the limitations of the marsupial pouch is the fact that pouch young are vulnerable to being washed out of the pouch if the adult is in water.

It even explains the lack of beards on dwarf women, as they would get in the way of the baby climbing into the pouch.

Marsupial dwarves. You're welcome.

Like my work? Support me on Patreon

[drdeepikadoshi]

What are the causes of breech pregnancies?

The volume of amniotic fluid in the womb has a significant impact on the baby's mobility. There may be more or less fluid than in a typical pregnancy. In either instance, the baby has a lot of mobility options or none at all.

The shape of the uterus also determines the position of the baby inside the uterus. A normal uterus is shaped like an inverted pear. Any deviation from the usual form results in a breech pregnancy. If the woman's gestation period ended prematurely (pregnancy). Also, a case of multiple pregnancies can lead to a breech baby being born.

Breech pregnancy may cause serious difficulties for both the mother and the baby.

Increased chance of decreased oxygen supply through the umbilical cord, since it may be immediately cut off during delivery

At birth, a child's bones are incredibly fragile and sensitive. Breech delivery may result in the baby's bones fracturing or weakening further.

A lack of oxygen via the twisted or flattened umbilical cord may cause nerve or brain damage in the newborn.

These are the most serious complications that can arise from breech pregnancies.

For more information, consult Dr. Deepika Doshi one of the Best Gynecologist in Borivali.

[legendaryprofessorwisteria]

Eh, I run this blog because the rest of my job doesn't quite keep me busy enough. Not a ton to do between assignments without a Legendary of my own, or at least not yet.

I'm lucky enough to know quite a bit about Ho-Oh and Lugia! So I'll put some fun facts here about them both.

Ho-Oh technically have an unlimited lifespan, a trait they share with very few Pokemon. This is because, when their bodies age and begin to fail, Ho-Oh will gestate a new body within them, burn the old one away, and be reborn as a juvenile. This only happens once every couple hundred years and the process leaves them very fragile for a while, but in theory a Ho-Oh could simply live forever.

Ho-Oh and Lugia are commonly believed to be some of the first Legendary Pokemon to live closely with humans aside from Unova's Tao Trio.

They're also some of the friendliest as wild Pokemon, with attacks or conflicts being incredibly rare. It's more likely that someone will be struck by lightning than attacked by a Ho-Oh. Lugia is technically classed as a Dangerous Legendary due to their ability to cause storms, but they are still rather peaceful creatures for the most part.

They're also some of the only Legendary Pokemon to openly reside among humans as wild Pokemon, with a family of each having dwelled in Ecruteak City for over a thousand years. However, in much more recent times, the local Lugia left and made their home in the Whirl Islands. However, the Kimono Girls of Ecruteak still tend to and work with both families.

Of Legendary Pokemon, Lugia are the most likely to have type variants, with types like Water and Dragon occurring naturally on rare occasions.

Hoenn Coordinator/Gym Leader/Ex-Champion/whatever he's doing now Wallace has a young variant Lugia sourced as a chick from an undisclosed location. Technically I know where but I'm not allowed to say, heh.

They're both highly intelligent - in the past, Lugia have learned to communicate telepathically with humans, and both have proven to be able to read and write if taught. They're also highly compassionate for the most part, with long histories of helping people for no particular reason. They can still absolutely be dangerous, but they're remarkably nonagressive overall.

For the record, if anyone wants to talk to me about sightings or personal experiences with Legendaries, or has care questions or anything, fire away! Ensuring that people are comfortable and safe around Legendaries, especially people who already own or work with them, is more of my job than you probably think it is.

[xyliane]

AU-gust 1: fantasy au

some wonderful soul: hey what if we throw together a prompt list entirely dedicated to AUs and we do it in august so it’s AUgust

me: I love you forever but in no way will I be writing something beyond stream-of-consciousness idea splatters

PROMPT THE FIRST: FANTASY AU (it’s hxh, because. look. it’s me. and I’ve been pondering dragons lately for reasons.) special thanks to @trashsketch because I was bemoaning not being able to do dragons AND a city that eats people and she, being a brilliant genius, suggested, “why don’t you just write about a dragon city?” 

0o0o0o0

Long ago, dragons were the size of hills, of mountains, flying on magic barely decipherable and entirely unknowable. They lived as winged nightmares, if mortal ones, emerging from an egg that, having grown for a thousand years with care and love and warmth, can create an unspeakable godly horror. They hatched from eggs that gestated for hundreds of years, a thousand years of warmth and love and life and growth, cared for by magic and life beneath mountains and atop clouds.

The dragons ruled the world for a long time (if ruled is the correct word--they feared dragons, attempted to placate them as best they could, fed and watered and worshiped and begged, but these were dragons, and they had grown from life itself, so what use had they for the tiny things of the world). But as with all reigns, the time of dragons too came to an end. Not immediately, not all at once. but eggs are fragile things, even those of dragons, and if you break them, then nothing more can be born.

Thus it was, hundreds of years before, that the last dragon died, or fled, or went to sleep, and the world began to rule itself.

So of course Gon’s off looking for dragons.

There are marks of dragons even now, time passed such that no one truly remembers the sheer size or scope of these practically mythical things, save for ancient figures and old elaborate illustrations left hanging in museums and the halls of the wealthy. Some do not even believe in dragons, in the way that some do not believe in dinosaurs, that their massive skeletal remains and fractured eggs are but ruses. Gon, of course, finds these people foolish beyond belief. but he also finds the rich incredibly, easily gullible, and if you’re looking for dragons, sometimes it’s best to not ask before taking.

Someone once told Gon that Ging found a dragon. That he spends his days off in the clouds, riding with a winged beast the size of houses, of mountains. Gon doesn’t know if that’s true. But he knows in his gut that the only way to find out if Ging did what they say, is to find dragons himself.

The Cackleberry City practically draws him in as if by magic: built up out of a rounded, pale mountainside hundreds of years past, it carries with it the years of civilization and growth since the end of dragons. And Gon’s target is in the mansion practically as old as the city itself, built of a near-identical-colored stone as though it was intended to protrude out of the very rock it sits upon. And within the mansion...

Well, what Gon had hoped to find was a collection of dragon statues, small and intricately carved, each with eyes a different color, one for each of the last Great Dragons.

Instead, he finds the sharp end of a white-haired boy’s blade, expression full of contrasts in the moonlit shadows--his scowl says he’s trying to be righteously angry, but his blue eyes are sharp and bright with delighted curiosity.

“I have something better,” the boy says, and leads Gon outside.

Someone more cautious than Gon would have fled. Taken what he could and run right back down the curling slopes of the city’s streets, gone back to the dirt-packed base and sold what he could. come back another night even.

But Gon came here for dragons.

The boy takes Gon down down down, past the edges of the gardens and down stairs that go deep beneath the too-thin layers of earth, to a rough stone chamber unlit by anything except for the ground itself. Down here, cleared of all debris and dirt from hundreds of years of living city, the foundation of the city is slightly pebbled stone, eggshell-white, and glowing faintly like starlight. And when the boy presses Gon’s hand to its surface, it is warm.

“The dragons aren’t gone,” the boy says, and his smile gleams with anticipation. “They’re just waiting.”

“Waiting for what?” Gon asks.

And the ground beneath his hand--the dragon egg upon which the city is built, rumbles faintly.

(AUgust tag)

[hatredofmusic]

My 50 Favorite Albums Of The 2010s

Alien Observer / Dream Loss [Only two of a large number of insanely good records Grouper released this decade]

An Empty Bliss Beyond This World [Weird music weird feelings. Memory and its fragility and impermanence.]

Because I'm Worth It [Of the post Hype Williams output, Dean gets the most recognition, but Inga's solo album gives me all kinds of weird feelings too.]

Between Two Selves [Maybe the best deep house record of the decade]

Black Is Beautiful [The most intriguing record from one of the decade's most intriguing bands. Here they are at the height of their powers, together, as a musically powerful group. I miss my red vinyl copy :( ]

Black Ken [In 2017 rap is a barren landscape and Lil B is its wandering prophet. It took a long time to gestate but Black Ken sounds like exactly what it is. It is post-post-rap. It is the self produced Lil B mixtape. It is Based.]

Black Up [This is the dopest hip hop record of the decade, of all the ones I heard. I should get into their other one.]

Blue Flame [6 Kiss was released in December 2009 digitally and in early 2010 on CD, so I can't in good consience call 6 Kiss a 2010s record, but someone might, and if you do, it instantly becomes the most important hip hop album of the 2010s. I could probably write continuously in adoration of Lil B. To me Lil B was the endpoint of rap. There is very little post Lil B of interest to me in hip hop. When I heard his music I felt this was it, rap has eaten itself. Blue Flame is like rap hell where everything that qualifies what makes good hip hop has been destroyed and is so far behind us in the rear view that we can only focus on what terrifying things may lie ahead.]

The Butterfly Effect [If you don't already know Shinichi Atobe, get to know him. His reemergence was one of this decade's proudest legacies and all of his records are worth putting on repeat.]

Cosmogramma [Wild, jazzy, futuristic... a total departure from his prior work. The Coltrane family is quite good at outdoing themselves.]

Donato Dozzy Plays Bee Mask [Great psychedelic ambient record. I listen to this before sleep all the time.]

Double Cup [Rashad's vision of Chicago is expansive and innovative. He is the heart and soul of footwork. Pick any of his records, or even any compilation he appears on, and it will rank among the most important footwork records. See also: the Rollin' EP, AND, RP Boo - Legacy!]

Electronic Dream [Beyond the MPC work, this feels like it slots in with all of what was going on relating to nostalgia and memory at the time. This sounds like late night Dance Factory on FM radio. Somehow, classy and sleazy at the same time.]

Floral Shoppe [Uhhhhhh I think vaporwave is cool and important and there's probably a whole mess of amazing vaporwave records from this decade but this is the best one right?]

For Those Of You Who Have Never (And Also Those Who Have) [Weird ambient music, weird ambient feelings. See also: Colonial Patterns]

Going Places [See also, the companion record "Being There".]

Grid of Points [Grouper's mini album is a heartbreaker.]

Hash-Bar Loops [I was in Amsterdam for half of 2011 so this is an oddly important record to me]

Holding New Cards [Variety hour with Keita Sano is exhilarating]

It Can Be Done, But Only I Can Do It [Omar-S made the most ebullient house music of the last two decades. He is simply the king of house right now. I will be humming his tunes until death. No one in the genre writes a simple melody better. Great fully formed house LPs are supposed to be an anomaly and he just cranks them out. This one has his best tune, which was one of the best tunes of the decade.]

Jai Paul [The Jai Paul leak was the best album of the decade by far]

Joy One Mile [Futuristic sounds from synth queen. I miss my copy :( ]

Late Nights With Jeremih [Best free mixtape of the decade by a country mile.]

Made The Harbor [The only folk record this decade that I adored]

The Magic Place [Lovely ambient! I adore it It's just so beautiful. I miss my copy :( ]

The Narcissist II [With this we are still in the most fruitful era of Hype Williams mythology. Inga Copeland drops in for arguably the duo's finest moment]

Platform [Wackiest things in 2016 included elections, sports championships and this Holly Herndon record, which I somehow did not sell :) ]

Pull My Hair Back [I didn't sell this one either, I couldn't, it's too important to me; every track on this Hyperdub classic is lovely]

The Psychic Paramount II [Excellent prog noise rock. I saw these guys open for The Jesus And Mary Chain once when I was on acid]

Quarantine [Weird music weird feelings. I miss my copy of this record :( I had to sell it for rent money or something but man was it a nice record with nice artwork.]

Ravedeath 1972 [Just one of his many great ones]

Replica [It may be the smartest move to list Chuck Person's Eccojams instead but Replica is an album I have some personal attachment to. 2011 was a rough weird year and this is a rough weird album. I listened to it on acid. I listened to it in Paris. It fucked me up.]

Resonant Body [The state of rave music in 2019 is very good]

Rhizome [I was at this show. As far as Merzbow output goes, this was easy listening. I didn't even need the earplugs.]

Room(s) [Quite sophisticated juke type music. At the type it felt quite innovative. I still listen to Machinedrum quite a bit, and I really dig those Sepalcure records, but tbh this was the one Machinedrum record I was really into]

Ruins [Ooof. Just unbearably unbelievably beautiful. I guess Grouper must nab The Artist Of The Decade Award from my personal award show.]

Severant [This one aged well. It sounded crazy and like nothing else at the time and that's still how I feel about it.]

Social Housing [I get the complaints but I think we have all become far too removed from Chicago house and we are blessed to have current producers do the style so well.]

Splazsh [Someone once wrote that Darren's pieces play on distance. Listen accidentally from another room and weird sounds snake their way into your memories and feelings and emotions.]

Syro [Plenty to love from everyone's favorite electro-trickster. It launched a more than adequately fruitful period for the Cornwallian]

The Tape Hiss Hooligan [Green Ova affiliated. This is a hard asf rap record. It's really good stoner rap.]

The Teac Life [Plenty of great singles and LPs and more from Legowelt this decade but this was his best one. Cinematic psychedelic deep house. The free reissue with bonus tracks was just an incredible value.]

Thank You For Letting Me Be Myself [Omar truly outdoes himself. He's the only guy making LPs of straight ahead club music that is anywhere close to this good. Plenty of gems to be found here.]

Ultimate Bitch [Lil B turned up to 11. Virtually all essential elements of his mystique are present. Shocking, hilarious, out of control, unbelievable.]

Vulnicura [Björk had a great decade and I would recommend picking up Utopia also. This was her best one.]

Where Dancefloors Stand Still [A DJ Sprinkles deep house mix cd? Order me 500 copies]

XXX [Either you like Danny Brown or you don't. I get it if you don't.]

Yeezus [Don't talk to me about MBDTF. It's good, we all liked it, but I prefer the follow-up way more.]

100% Galcher [Any and all Galcher releases qualify as interesting music for this decade. 100% was only the first taste of Galcher Lustwerk but it included all of his best early material.]

808s & Dark Grapes II [Tremendous.]

[jq37]

Ok, a few Unsleeping City asks: 1-Thoughts on new ep? 2-CAMBRIDGE SANTALYTICA 3-The gang tries to meet up for drinks

**spoilers for mutant santa melee**

(I’ll respond to the other two parts of the ask in another post!)

We are back with our first battle episode of the season and our first chance to see the NY Crew really show their skills.

Ricky trying to keep Sophie's reckless ass safe because he has big golden retriever energy is great.

I can't decide if everyone taking this first fight more seriously than the first fight in FH is because they remember how badly they got womped last time and didn't want a repeat or because they were just playing older, more experienced characters.

I hate everything about these mutant Santas and I want it on the record. I mean, they're great from a game design perspective but I hate them.

"Mr. March, I'm gonna save you!"/"My name is Rick, by the way."

I thought it was funny that Ricky and Sophie both happened to hit the exact wrong type of Santa for their skillset for their first attack, back to back.  

Fig's Bardic Inspiration move was to do flirty winks at everyone. Misty's is to give big, theatrical compliments. I love it.  

Ricky dropping gun safety warnings mid MUTANT SANTA FIGHT.

"Fucking come out of your stupid cocoon! I know you're not a butterfly!"

I love it when rolls are happening at the table and Lou is loudly like, "This is terrible. I hate this." He did it all through the family rescue rolls in FH too.

"It's fine. It's fucking new York. What do you expect?"/"The NY that I live in and the NY that you live in are very different my friend." That's the real NY experience.

Sophie going, "F the minions, I'm going for the obvious boss Monster, I'll take the attacks," is such a good character defining moment. Also, the action-y music abruptly cutting off as the door shut was hilarious.

So Pete is hearing mysterious whispers and Sophie is hearing mysterious whispers and I'm Concerned, especially since it's the two newbies and it's not necessarily significant but it could be so I'm just mentioning it and tabling it until I have more info to speculate.

Misty turning to Kingston and saying, "Just like old times!" makes me want to know every single detail of their history together before the new kids showed up.

"Santa's my friend and he's fucking dead."

I like the homebrew rule for Pete's wild magic surge which makes the odds of one increase every time it doesn't happen because it ups the chaos factor and makes it inevitable rather than just a possibility which I bet has the potential to create some real tension in a long, drawn out fight.

The way Brennan kept describing Pete's arm as peeling like a banana when he used his magic grossed me out so much so, if that was the goal, you did it. Thanks, I hate it.

The, "Guess I'll just die," meme but it's Pete going, "Guess I'll just use this evil magic."

"Darling I love to be naughty. It's my favorite thing!" (Misty's chaos potential increases with every line she says).

"SANTA GETYCHO ASS UP." (Flawless bedside manner)

I forgot how fragile lower level characters can be! I'm glad so many of the party members have at least some healing spells (I think everyone but Pete and Sophie) as opposed to FH when it was basically just Kristen I think.

"He just gives us a PS4 and that's it."

Sophie monkey bars up Giant Eldritch Horror Santa's exposed ribcage and upercut-kick him because stripping Emily of her magic doesn't strip her of her creativity or flair.

"Darling, with me every day is a show. My life is a show!"

Sophie, upon being complimented by Misty: Oh my God. My new friends are awesome.

The idea of a dirty rat man summoning a unicorn is hilarious to me.

Pete's first Wild Magic surge just restores his sorcery points, which is great as a player but, as a viewer, I really hope we get to see some bombastic nonsense soon. Also, Brennan had the wild magic surge, in story, be the result of Pete's magic reacting to Kingston's, which I thought was a cool way to justify game mechanics.

"You're the opposite of Santa!"

Smites are GOOD you guys.

Sophie catches Santa and and Ricky (who has just killed the boss Santa) takes a selfie with them. Bless. Also, Sophie refuses to put down Santa for the rest of the fight.

Misty has an umbrella with a KNIFE inside of it which I LOVE.

The fight ends a little anticlimactically because, once you bum rush the boss, all that's left to do is clean up the minions.

Misty mentioned having Shoes of Titania and I wanna know if that's an actual item with a mechanical effect and what its stats are if so.

Ally realizing they only some of the Santas explode on impact basically at the end of the fight was classic DnD.

Santa sending people into his bag was giving me big Naddpod vibes.

"What the fuck happened?" --Santa, 2019

I don't like the implication of the gestating tadpoles with the Santa hats. Like, is Santa's hat organic? Is it just a part of his body? No thank you.

Pete just lying to Santa's face for absolutely no reason. Incredible.

Santa and Misty talking shop, just because, was such a fun 30 seconds of RP. I love RP that exists just to exist (and, sidenote, I also love when it comes back around and becomes relevant like in Naddpod (14 seconds of absolute silence...chicken)).  

"Santa, don't give this boy an egg."

"A very fancy egg for a very not fancy boy. But a good boy nonetheless."

Ricky on Santa: It would be crazy if you weren't real because you're such a good person. (Zac struggling to get through that was his second best moment of the ep).

Pete gives Santa a bag of coke and tries to dip when she sees cops because, magic or not, that's Who He Is As A Person.

Santa: Pete, your soul is in jeopardy. (lol, Santa knew his name on sight which, of course he did. It's Santa. Duh.)

CENTAUR HORSE COP. I love that as much as I hate the mutant Santas.

Ricky, horrified: Am I on the bad list?/Santa, who is still processing that Ricky never stopped believing in Santa:Ricky, no. (That was my fave Ricky line of the ep, in case you were wondering)

So, in this world, Christian (Catholic specifically) figures explicitly exist, which is good to know. Also, in last episode and this one, the grey faced child mentioned Lazarus which I thought was just a stylistic name choice but that's a name w/ specific Biblical connotations (that's the dude Jesus brought back from the dead for those not up on your New Testament) and it still might be irrelevant, but it's one more thing for me to tack up on my conspiracy board.  

"Santa, are you Cambrdige Analytica?"

Anyway, Heaven and Hell use the naughty and nice list to figure out who goes where so they're not being redundant which is wild because that means Santa essentially gets to decide morality for the rest of the world and, as of now, Pete is super going to hell based on the look Santa gave him when they were talking about who's on the naughty list.

Santa's list has been stolen which is, como se dice, Bad. The specifics aren't clear, but it's super not good. Also, Santa lets the group know that they might wanna figure out what's going on with Pete before he chucks deuces and goes home. So it seems like we'll be seeing him again.

I wonder what the timeline for this season is gonna be. Like, Christmas seems like an obvious time for a big, climactic setpiece, but it'll have to be a really compressed timeline if that's what they're aiming for. Compressed compared to Fantasy High at least.

Sophie, illegally cracking a Mike's Hard in Central Park in front of a cop: Um, we're magic. (She gets a ticket immediately)

That's it for this week! Next week the mob (the pixie mob maybe?) and Siobahn has awesome hair!

[b-kitsune]

Many ways to say I love you: Day Sixteen.

Kidge-a-palooza 2019 Prompt: Incompetent. Pairing: Kidge (VLD) Universe: Victorian!AU. Status: Part 3/4

Matt was reading a new novel he found in the corners of the house, while patiently waiting for the door of the corridor to open at any moment on news. The atmosphere in the room was tense and considerably anxious, where his family and those closest to him barely breathed in anticipation. He could see his father talking outside the terrace with Mr. Kogane and his brother-in-law, Lieutenant Kolivan, a man of great bearing and an undaunted face, who at that moment was suffering from a severe look at the anxiety of the situation. Around him, Hunk and Lance were sitting talking about the banalities of country life, trying in some way to calm the sorrows of his brother-in-law, who hadn't stopped observing the door at any time as soon as the women closed it in the instant that Katie started with the first contractions.

It was a terrible environment, but Matt had the incredible ability to keep calm in situations that escaped his own hands.

Like at that moment, while they waited for the news about the condition of his beloved younger sister, who was in labor for many hours. He looked up to see the central gardens, the sky had already darkened and wondered naively if that would affect his expected nephew in any way.

''Hey.'' Matt looked up to find Shiro at his side, a little nervous with his arms crossed. ''Do you want to accompany me to take a short walk around?''

''Of course.''

He raised from a soft movement leaving the book half-read on a nearby piece of furniture when they made their way into the corridors to give a charming view of the central gardens of the McClain house. Neither his father nor his friends made any comment about it, assuming there were still several hours of waiting before they knew about Katie and her expected son.

They walked for long minutes in silence appreciating the art of the vast gardens in the surroundings. While Lance McClain was a guy of eccentric tastes and unorthodox behavior for someone in his category, Matt could recognize that his delight in gardening was exquisite and impeccable. Around shrubs and flowers of varied origin, large ponds and fountains adorned their way like a large canvas of fantasy. They could both understand why Allura really enjoyed visiting Lance during her free time, independent of her alleged romantic interest in recent months.

Shiro sighed heavily as they stopped in a pond, watching as some small fishes swirled around the corners in search of food.

''I'm worried, Matt. '' Said Shiro crestfallen, Matt took advantage of the absence of employees around him to rest his head on the outline of his shoulder. ''I'm afraid for the life of Katie and her son.''

''Everybody does.'' He answered in a whisper. Shiro looked at him for a few seconds, seeing a soft smile on his face as he watched the water. ''Keith has not stopped observing that door since the maids closed it.''

''Did you don't? It's your sister we're talking about.'' He questioned incredulously to the tranquility of his voice. ''Already suffered a terrible loss at the beginning of their marriage.''

''I don't know Shiro, I just feel that Katie will be able to do it this time.''

When he and his family heard from Keith about the new pregnancy many months ago, the news had hit them badly in the first weeks, especially Matt. Who had accompanied his dear Katie during the hardships before the loss of her first child while her husband was on the outskirts of the city, ignorant of what happened. They had been terrible days, and Matt felt helpless to not get rid of the pain in the heart of his beloved little sister.

But now, when the screams were heard inside the room where Katie rested, Matt was the only man able to stay calm as a gentleman of his class. Since he and his family arrived at Lance's estate in the vicinity of the delivery a few weeks ago, he could see that Katie's mood, along with her weight, improved considerably, with a big belly that highlighted the last weeks of pregnancy of her long-awaited son. And while there was still danger during childbirth because of her delicate body, Matt was sure his sister could handle it.

Inside, he sensed that everything would be fine.

''Little Kogane-Holt has reached the end of the weeks of gestation, and all the women, including my dear mother, are helping Katie get it.'' Shrugged Matt.  ''There are more than fifteen people inside that room, my dear sister couldn't be more protected.''

Shiro hummed according to his words, after meditating a few seconds.

''I hope Keith could see it that way.''

''Oh, Shiro.'' Matt kissed the outline of his cheek. Funny at his words. ''I'm pretty sure if he spends a single minute more without anyone leaving the room, Keith will break down that door.''

 ...

 Keith felt incompetent.

They had spent so many hours waiting for some resolution about Katie's condition outside the room, that Keith felt it like long days. Not even Lance and Hunk managed to cheer him up while talking about banalities and news in the capital. How could he, take a few minutes of rest, while his wife was in labor a few inches from his place, and wasn't able to do anything for her at all?

Even if he had the opportunity to peek into the room for a few seconds to know Katie's condition, his mother and sister would hit him as invasive. Keith knew he was being impatient and overly dramatic, but he couldn't help but worry about her...

Through the months, his wife's health improved considerably as they spent time with Lance and Allura, who decided to visit them during Katie's stay to help her with whatever she needed now that she was pregnant with a healthy child. His wife enjoyed so much welfare around her to the point that she was able to do any kind of work without any problem on her own, even at the expense of the big belly she gained thanks to the good growth of her first child.

One night, while she caressed her belly with sweetness and Keith read a letter sent from his father to let him know about the news of the company, Katie told him that she wanted to forget her first pregnancy forever. Since the memory only brought pain and suffering, along with the constant fear of not being able to give birth. Keith could not deny her anything at that moment, seeing her so fragile and vulnerable as her eyes shone with longing for that child that grew inside her, so healthy and strong. So they decided to consider him as their firstborn.

Several times during the day and especially during the night, Keith would hold her while he listened to her sing, touching her belly with deep longing. Talking about their gender and the names they could give. They never managed to agree on what they expected, Keith longed for a daughter to teach her about hunting and the values ​​of his family, while Katie prayed to the heavens that it was a boy, for not to suffer the same sorrows that she lived with her mother in her younger ages. Keith just laughed listening to her family stories.

He had promised to Katie when she began to feel the first contractions, that he would behave just outside the room. But Keith could only breathe as panic hit him with every second that passed.

After a few minutes, when Shiro and Matt returned from their brief walk through the corridors of Lance's home, they heard loud cries that echoed on the walls of the house, Keith knew it was his wife, but even when his chest seemed to break before the supposition of a deep pain of his beloved, he wasn't allowed to enter until everything was in order. Keith moaned in frustration, but he paid attention to his mother's words.

He had to believe that Katie and his son were in good hands. He had promised to her.

The maids came and went quickly without mentioning anything that happened inside, and when he saw the sheets full of blood carried by one of the women, he completely chilled his skin. Shiro and his father decided to move him towards a chair so that he could rest, the color of his face was as pale as snow, and his body trembled with worry.

A deeper and heartbreaking cry made even Matt, who remained with extreme temperance at all times, made him look away in a panic to the room, where some women began to carry large amounts of hot water giving orders with extreme urgency. Keith couldn't stand it anymore. He moved his foot furiously while his father's hand on his shoulders didn't allow it to rise abruptly.

Another cry more painful made Keith stand up strongly, against the indications of his father and Shiro, who was no less reassured than him.

''I'm going in.'' He said hurriedly, but Kolivan, his maternal uncle, prevented him by placing himself in front of the door, with a calculating, but understanding look at the concern he was experiencing. ''Please, Kolivan, I ask you to understand that I'm afraid for Katie's well-being, I need you to move away.''

''No, you need to calm down, boy.'' He answered placing one of his hands on his shoulder. Keith groaned desperately, clenching his fists. ''You will not make any change inside the room, just wait.''

He wanted to refute his words with fury, to hit him and to make his way through the doors listening to the screams inside. But Keith was only able to nod like a reprimanded child.

After long minutes of silence, Allura left the room with a pause. Alerting all present by getting up quickly from their positions. She smiled happily, taking Keith's hand gently.

''Congratulations Keith, is a healthy and strong boy like his parents.'' Soon the room was filled with great puffs of relief and congratulations to his back. Keith felt he could finally breathe after many hours. And the knot in his stomach dissolved quickly. ''Katie is still delicate, but you can enter for a few minutes, you have to let her rest.''

''Thanks, Allura.''

He hugged her tightly and went inside, careful not to trip over a maid or friend who helped in the delivery of his wife, who were still leaving the room in a hurry, but with a pleasant smile as they congratulated him around. The light was dim, being illuminated only by a few candles.

There, in the bed he shared with his beloved wife, he saw his mother and Colleen taking Katie's hands and dictating words of comfort and relief. She looked exhausted and sweaty as if she had run a long distance, but Keith couldn't blame her for having spent hours in a great fight.

Katie smiled at him as soon as she saw him approaching, the women got up to give them the space they needed, but not before being kissed by his mother in a quick movement, Keith accepted her gratefully for all the work.

When he was by her side, he could see that her lap a small bundle moved just to recognize that he was alive. Keith's tears began to fall as soon as he saw the hair so characteristic of his wife on a small reddened head. He was a healthy child, Allura had told him, but Keith couldn't help thinking that he was the smallest and most delicate thing he had seen in the whole world. Katie laughed briefly as soon as she saw the first tears of her beloved, taking one of her hands.

''We made it...'' Katie said just in a soft whisper. Keith smiled happily kissing her lips, they felt somewhat dry to touch them. ''Our first son.''

''First?'' Keith questioned amused, sitting on the side of the bed. ''Do you want to go through this torment again? I was dying of worry out there.''

''I don't doubt it; you've always been a bit dramatic.'' The little boy moaned uncomfortably; Katie tried to fit him a little more in her arms.

''It seems that our little one is defending my integrity.'' Katie smiled burlesque at his words.

''Of course he does, he made a terrible show before he was born. My mother said that he wasn't in an adequate position during childbirth.''

''What a terrible situation you have lived, dear.'' Keith said, drying his cheeks with one of his hands. Katie, however, swallowed heavily.

''For a few seconds, I thought I would die of pain. One of the nurses told me that bringing a child to the world is an act of survival. I had never been so in agreement in all my life.'' Keith nodded in agreement with her words, caressing the thin hair of the head of his son.

''Allura told me not to take up much of your time. Do you want me to let you rest?''

''No, not yet.'' Katie answered, somewhat sleepy, but with one of her hands firmly in the arms of her beloved. ''Stay close to me, a little more.'' Keith smiled melancholy as he saw her fall more and more defeated, but without moving away from his touch, his beloved wife gave a strong battle. The least he could do was fulfill all his wishes.

''All the time you want, Katie.''

Keith saw her fall into a deep sleep after a few minutes. After that night, watching his wife dreaming along with his firstborn son, they would begin a new life with the responsibilities of a family. While Keith heard the laughter outside the room of his family and friends, he couldn't feel more fortunate in his entire life.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #200: The Child is Father To...?

October, 1980

I kept dreading getting to this moment.

As the numbers ticked higher, I thought ‘well 200 is still a ways off’ but I knew it was coming.

Its not just that issue #200 is bad. Everybody knows its bad. Its the fact that everyone knows its bad.

As far as this series is about anything its about exposing how bonkers the Avengers comic could be for people less familiar with it.

But issue #200 is so infamous that I think a lot of people know about it, by reputation at least.

But I’ve been pitching pennies into the void so long, whats another 2 cents? This is just a speed bump on the way to more interesting things anyway.

She-Hulk will be joining the team soon. Tigra’s first stint on the team before that. There’s the fall of Yellowjacket and the albatross that Hank Pym will be wearing around his neck forever upcoming too. Moondragon returns to finally pay off the point of the Korvac Saga.

There’s a lot upcoming to get excited about.

So lets get through this... dear lord, its a double sized issue.

Right in the cover we can see the cracks underlying the story. Not just on the big 200, looking all weathered and damaged. Odd choice for a celebratory anniversary issue.

Also odd choice to have Iron Man and Hawkeye in a combat ready pose when the rest of the Avengers (except Vision. Always except Vision) are smiling and posing around the big cracked, damaged, rotten 200 like a publicity still.

Beast is even hanging out of it. Seductively.

Not right now, Beast. Read the room.

The point I’m trying to make is that there is a dissonance with this cover mood. Why are Iron Man and Hawkeye ready for action when everyone else is in a party mood?

The mood is just as confused in the book itself because it is a confused mess, designed out of committee, compromise, and with a stunning disregard for character. But I’ll get to that.

Also, perfect symmetry wasn’t really attainable here what with Thor and Captain America having significantly different profiles, but I’m annoyed that Yellowjacket wasn’t placed next to Vision so he’d mirror Wasp. You ruin everything, Yellowjacket.

Bit of a trivia: this cover was used as one of the covers for the Essential Avengers volumes. They cut out the big 200 to make it more general which honestly makes the cover look bland. Avengers posing around a big void for no reason.

Now lets get on with it.

“For generations the symbolic root values of the American people have been embodied in the phrase: ‘Mom, apple pie and the girl next door.’ Wars have been fought for these ideals; presidents have been elected over them. Obviously motherhood means a great deal to most Americans. So why, then, do these five heroes, these Avengers, seem upset that one of their own  -- is about to give birth? Why is there excitement tinged with a subtle, subconscious shadow -- of fear?”

I think they would seem upset because Carol seems afraid and upset by the situation, became nine months pregnant in a matter of days, and has insisted that there is no possible father.

The real question is why there’s excitement at all? Finally showing some upset and fear is reading the mood but nothing explains this weird mood dissonance where the Avengers react to a mysterious accelerated pregnancy with ‘omg baby!!’

And the last issue ended with Dr. Donald Notthor Blake shouting in panic that Carol had gone into labor and its like nothing he’s ever seen. A good reason for the Avengers to be anxious and yet not really followed up on.

Unless. Oh god. Dr. Donald Notthor Blake really doesn’t have any obstetric experience and has no idea how to deliver a baby.

Thankfully, Jocasta is assisting him. She has cold hands and the precision of a computer so obviously she has excellent bedside manner.

Also, that first part of the narration sounds fake. I’m pretty sure the symbolic root values of the American people are ‘fuck you I don’t like taxes’ and ‘fuck you I want to own people.’

You think other countries don’t like motherhood and pie and geographically adjacent girls? Newsflash, a lot of people like those things. America is not special.

And why is this narration even playing over a scene where a woman is giving birth after being impregnated against her will or knowledge? Shooter, Perez, Layton and Micheline, what part of that sounds like the ideal of motherhood??

We are still on page one.

ALSO. Why does the medical examination laboratory have a big window the Avengers can look through to see their teammate giving birth?

And why are the Avengers pacing outside the door like anxious fathers-to-be?

Hawkeye even snarks about it when Captain America expresses worry.

This comic does not know what its mood should be. Will be a recurring complaint.

Captain America: “Sorry, Hawkeye, but I can’t help being a little nervous. I never thought I’d see the day a child would be born in Avengers Mansion.”

Iron Man: “I hate to put a damper on things, Cap, but it hasn’t been born yet -- and we’ve no assurance that it will even be a ‘child.’”

Mood dissonance. Cap: ‘omg baby!’ Iron Man: ‘More likely an alien’

Inside the medical room, Jocasta detects weirdness with her cybernetic senses. Maybe Ultron gave her an ultrasound when he built her.

Either way, despite my fully deserved mocking before, the real weird thing that made Dr. Donald Notthor Blake panic is that the birth is seemingly occurring without any trauma at all. No trauma and no pain? That ain’t right, per Dr. Donald Blake.

Second round of mocking aside, here’s a weird thing. Carol isn’t pushing at all. The whateveritis baby is just coming out all on its own.

But the baby boy is born and the peanut gallering Avengers all rush into the room to coo over him.

And while they gush about how tiny and cute the baby is and how he’ll be a quarterback when he grows up (???), Captain America asks Dr. Donald Blake to examine him thoroughly. Him the baby. Because Cap is finally realizing that something here isn’t natural. Like the fact that he was born after a three day gestation. For example.

Meanwhile, Jocasta has a weird epiphany about why Humans Are Special TM. A weird, almost Rose Quartzian epiphany.

Jocasta: “Look at them, Vision. Even under these bizarre circumstances, birth seems so... so natural to them. How incredible it must be to be born, to be small, to grow. Even with all their frailties, their weaknesses, I can’t help feeling that in this universe, humans are something very, very special.”

Vision: “It is life that is special, Jocasta -- in whatever form it takes.”

Do... do you think only humans give birth and grow up, Jocasta? Where do you think baby Inhumans, Skrulls, and Atlanteans come from? The Kree are supposedly test tube grown for maximum perfectness but they can still get pregnant. Bug on Star-Lord’s proto-Guardians of the Galaxy team was actually in jail for impregnating a Kree. Consensually. But the Kree have this weird thing about genetic purity. But also this weird thing about not evolving anymore. So maybe they should try crossbreeding with other alien races and see if that does anything for them.

I am getting off track.

Jocasta, you’re dumb. Humans Are Special posts tend to annoy me but this is the stupidest one yet, Jocasta. I still like you but stop.

Wasp realizes that Carol Danvers isn’t around also talking about how great the baby is and goes looking for her after being told that Wonder Man is taking her up to her room to rest.

And no surprise from Wasp who has been on the ‘baby yay!’ train the whole time but she is incredibly insensitive to Carol.

Wasp: “I just wanted to congratulate the proud parent. It’s really a beautiful baby, Carol. You’re so lucky to --”

Carol: “‘Lucky?!’ Wasp, think about what you just said! I’ve been used! That isn’t my baby! I don’t even know who the father is! So if you want to help me, please... just leave me alone.”

Sometimes this comic shows flashes of what may be self-awareness and I wonder if it knows how awful it is. But since Carol later apologizes for snapping at Wasp, no. No it does not.

Its red herring self-awareness. The worst kind.

Also, flashes of modern day Carol. That is the face of a woman who wishes there was something at hand to throw. Like a building.

Meanwhile, in the garden or courtyard of the mansion, Vision and Scarlet Witch do some relationship discussion.

Vision: “You seem calm, my wife, at ease with yourself.”

Scarlet Witch: “That’s because I am, darling. Ever since I reconciled my conflicting emotions concerning parenthood, I’ve not only felt more peaceful, but stronger as well.”

Vision: “Then you feel no regrets that we have produced no offspring?”

Scarlet Witch: “None that matter. A child’s a thing of fragile beauty, something that must be nurtured and protected. Like this rose... and the love we feel for each other. Which is, I’ve realized, the most important thing in my world.”

Vision: “And, my love, in mine.”

Aw. That’s nice.

Also nice is that the rose Scarlet Witch picks during this garden speech is a yellow matching Vision’s cape.

Even in the midst of this thisness, I like that we get a good character moment between Vision and Scarlet Witch. The good ol’ best ol’ Seeing Red ship.

Looking forward five years to the Vision and Scarlet Witch miniseries, these two actually do get to have kids. Granted, it happens after the two ragequit the Avengers because the government is suspicious of Vision after he tried to take over the world under the influence of an alien supercomputer. And magic is involved. And it gets undone by having the children be secretly parts of Mephisto but then it turns out that the kids are retroactively real kinda and are the Young Avengers Billy Kaplan and Speed.

Comics are complicated.

My point being. I like that when they didn’t have Avengers work to worry about, these two somehow immediately found a way to have the children they wanted. And I like that they had an mature, adult conversation about their expectations of their relationship before then.

Scarlet Witch and Vision are so good and a large part of me really hopes they get their own movie in the MCU that’s just. Weird stuff they deal with while trying to sort out their relationship.

Moving on.

During this conversation, Jocasta has been creepin’ like a creep from a second floor window.

Wasp spots her and asks if anything is wrong and Jocasta tells her that there’s just so much about human emotions that she doesn’t understand despite being based on Jan’s personality.

And Jan “Can’t Read The Mood” Van Dyne says something insightful.

Wasp: “Don’t worry, lady, you’re not alone. There’s still a lot about human emotions that we humans don’t understand.”

Also, I think this is the first interaction that Wasp and Jocasta have had.

I know things are probably awkward between them. But Vision and Wonder Man hashed their shit out to function socially around each other. I want more Jocasta and Wasp interaction.

I want more interaction between Jocasta and Scarlet Witch.

So far, Jocasta has mainly been about the dudes, minus an abortive attempt to make friends with Ms Marvel. She’s been trying to make friends or more with Vision a lot. And I get the logic behind that. If anyone gets where she’s at its him but also he’s too wrapped up in him to get where she’s at. But here’s the thing. It just comes across as another Vision-Wanda-Other Woman love triangle.

Give Jocasta girl friends. Or a girlfriend. But definitely girl friends.

Also, Wasp got another new outfit and this one isn’t terrible. I think she got it a couple issues ago but I was preoccupied. Good job, Wasp. You remembered that pants should have both legs.

Meanwhile, Beast and Hawkeye play pool in the rec room.

This is another very good character moment.

Hawkeye has won two games, making two malteds that Beast owes him. Hawkeye is very good at pool because you just pick up on these tricks when you’re a carny. Obviously.

He suggests a third game, double or nothing. And loser gets to shoot first.

But first, Beast pulls out a calculator. A TI-59, in fact. And does a little trigonometry.

And while Hawkeye is protesting that pool isn’t something you learn in math class, its a game of skill and instincts, Beast takes a single shot and sinks every ball.

Because, yup, this whole time Beast was hustling the hustler.

In fairness, you have to be pretty good at pool in the x-mansion. Cyclops is just super good at it and is probably a real sore winner.

Beast tries to get Hawkeye to play again, this time for a year’s salary but Hawkeye says “I only need to get burnt once to know a fire is hot!”

Anyway, I’m glad that some of this issue’s bloated page count went towards this nice little moment.

But with no forthcoming pool game, Beast decides to check in on the main plot with the vidcom intercom.

Apparently in the last hour, the baby has grown to the size and maturity of a two year old child.

So the accelerated growth is accelerating. He was aging three months a day and now he aged two years in an hour. Maybe he’ll age to skeleton bones like he drank out of the wrong grail and this story will end.

Anyway, the creepy Satan child stares right into the camera and thus our souls and demands someone change his diaper.

Uncanny.

Of course, its kind of a thing that most comic artists just don’t know how to draw babies without making them seem like cursed gremlins. So maybe this isn’t supposed to be exactly as creepy as it is.

Its just hard to tell because of the tone thing. This is a weird, unnatural baby. But also 'ZOMGBABY!!!’ So who knows.

And then an interlude. To build up the subplot which is needed to add some action scenes.

Completely normal civilian Raoul Kramer gets off the subway train, monologue complaining about how day in and day out everything is the same ol’ same ol’ same.

But when he leaves the station he finds everything has gone all old timey horse and buggy. Oh god, everything is so same ol’ it went back in time to be different same ol’!

What a perplexment.

But back in the mansion, Wonder Man goes to Ms Marvel’s room to see how she’s holding up.

And apparently she’s feeling well enough to get back in her bathing suit costume.

I guess it makes sense. Its the clothes she uses to punch people and maybe throw buildings at friends. So now that the ordeal is over she can get back to where she left off and love feeling strong and not have to think about cursed child at all.

Of course, people just keep trying to harsh her mood. By insisting that she interact with the baby she wants nothing to do with.

Wonder Man: “So how about coming down to take a look at your son? He’s really an extraordinary little --”

Ms Marvel: “No! He’s not my son! I don’t want to have anything to do with that... that thing!”

Wonder Man: “Come on, Carol, my eyes may look strange, but they see perfectly well. And right now they can see that you’re frightened -- just plain old run-of-the-mill scared. And you’ve every right to be. We don’t know what’s happened to you any more than you do, but ignoring it won’t help anything. Though maybe facing up to it will. What do you say?”

Amazing how a story where a woman is impregnated against her will also has the men in her life insisting they know what’s best for her more than she does. Its really the full package.

Meanwhile, more tone whiplash. After a scene where Ms Marvel calls the baby a thing and insists she wants nothing to do with him, we get a scene of Beast carrying an armful of sports equipment to the impromptu nursery.

I don’t know why Beast is going all sports dad on this mystery baby. I know he played football in school but he’s just behaving very oddly.

Unfortunately for Beast’s dream of having a superbowl winning son-by-proxy, as a now five-year-old with a smart mouth Marcus (because he names himself here) is not really interested in the sportsball. Rather, he’d like a laser torch and some electronic components.

As fast as his physical development, his intellectual capacity has developed far more. And he promises to answer the questions the Avengers have about that once he gets the materials he asked for.

But Cap insists on some answers now and Marcus agrees. He won’t have the manual dexterity necessary for another twenty minutes anyway.

Marcus: “What would you like to know?”

Captain America: “For starters, where did you come from?”

Marcus: “My mother.”

Captain America: “Yes, we know that, but... that is, how were you conceived?”

Marcus: “Uhhhm... by my father?”

Captain America: “Well, of course, blast it! But who is your father?”

Marcus: “I am.”

I wanted to joke that, like Vision, Cap doesn’t know where babies come from. But look at this completely unhelpful brat. He’s definitely being willfully contrarian. And I don’t want any good things to happen to him but from his point of view, things would have gone a lot better had he been a lot more forthcoming.

Iron Man, whose child interaction credentials are suspect, suggests that they just give Marcus whatever he wants and then maybe he’ll behave better.

Cap doesn’t like it but he agrees.

Sending Marcus to his room probably wouldn’t work. He doesn’t have a room. And sending him to bed without dessert? Also probably wouldn’t work. We haven’t seen him eat and he’s growing so fast as to seemingly preclude any nutritional needs. On the other hand, if he’s never tasted anything, the taste of chocolate might kill him. I read that in a book.

Time for another interlude! West of Queens where Ms. Marjorie Hansley checks the mail in hopes that she won a big publishing company sweepstakes grand prize all-expense-paid trip around the world.

We don’t learn whether or not she won the sweepstakes (which I consider rude) but the universe provides in another way and gives her a no-expense-paid no-refusal trip to Jurassic Park.

Or some prehistoric dinosaur time.

Where she is likely to get eaten by an alligator.

Ms. Marjorie Hansley is dead, basically.

But also it seems that time is warped and space is bendable.

I bet this is Marcus’ fault. You don’t backsass Living Legend Captain America and not break time.

But also: he’s aging at an accelerated rate. And time is screwing up elsewhere? He’s borrowed so much time from the time bank that the bank has gone bust and there’s no bailout package for the fourth dimension!

Probably not actually. But imagine if that was the plot.

Back at the mansion, again. Wonder Man and Yellowjacket have a talk.

Wonder Man: “I guess Ms. Marvel isn’t going to show. Tell me, Hank, you’re an old married man -- how did you ever come to understand women?”

Yellowjacket: “I didn’t.”

Wonder Man: “What? But, you and Jan -- !”

Yellowjacket: “Simon, I love Jan, and I accept her for what she is, but to be honest, the day someone comes out with a book on what really makes women tick -- I’ll be the first in line with my checkbook!”

There’s just so much I could say to this exchange. Much of it very harsh towards Hank and about upcoming events. I guess this is in-character for him though. He has never put much effort into understanding his girlfriend and then wife Jan and he passes that ignorance off as women just being fundamentally inexplicable.

You’re not a good scientist, Hank. Let’s leave it at that.

And Wonder Man. Ffs, Simon. Is it really, really, so difficult to understand why a woman might not want to come meet her rape baby?

Again. Not out of character from a man stuck in the past like Simon Williams can be. But this isn’t as fun a character moment as the pool sharking.

At least they’re saying women instead of females.

Meanwhile again, there are a lot of meanwhiles in this comic. A lot of jumping around. But Dr. Donald Notthor Blake observes a now twelve-year-old Marcus sciencing up some gadget or doohickey and marvels that this 12 year old has the intellectual capacity of Einstein now.

And he also wonders that maybe this situation does not require the talents of Dr. Donald Notthor Blake but instead those of the Mighty Verymuchthor Thor.

To put it another way, I think the good doctor Blake is imagining hitting a child with a hammer.

Another meanwhile, where Cap, Beast and Hawkeye are having a tea party.

And where Hawkeye has just suggested putting Marcus in a cage.

Now that everybody isn’t going ‘squee babyyy!1!’ because he is no longer a cute infant, the backlash the other way towards violence and imprisonment is something to behold.

Iron Man comes into the... parlor? Tea room? to let Cap know they’ve been getting some prank calls on the public line. Just some nonsense about a delicatessen being robbed by Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Probably some snotty teenagers having a fun.

Meanwhile again and elsewhere, Jocasta comes to talk to Vision. Who is currently engrossed in studying a subtle energy aura around Marcus that grows as the child does. And it seems that the energy is emanating from within the weirdo and might account for his unnatural growth rate.

Jocasta offers to help with his investigation but just then Scarlet Witch returns with Yellowjacket’s latest readings on Marcus’ physiology. Just what Vision needed.

And now that Scarlet Witch is here, Vision turns to her and starts telling her about his fascinating theory about Marcus.

Feeling like quite the third wheel, Jocasta just leaves, unnoticed.

“Sensing in her husband’s well-modulated tones an excitement that would escape most others, the Scarlet Witch listens intently... so much that neither she nor the Vision even notice when Jocasta turns and, softly, leaves the room. And that, thinks the metalloid would-be Avenger, is the harshest hurt of all...”

Dammit. If she leaves the team because of this bullshit, I’m going to be nettled.

BUT ALSO: lets mock Yellowjacket.

Do you see how Scarlet Witch takes the time to understand Vision, able to sense in him moods that most others don’t? Because she loves him and took the effort to connect with him?

Maybe if you had done the emotional labor, Yellowjacket, women wouldn’t be a big impenetrable mystery to you.

But of course not. That emotional labor flows one way. Get dunked on Yellowjacket specifically and the culture that shaped him more generally.

Elsewherewhen AGAIN, but specifically half the mansion away, Ms Marvel decides that she will, after all, go see the baby she didn’t want.

And also she apologizes for snapping at Jan.

Boooooo! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Not My Carol!

But she also waited too long. Without proper parental role models, Marcus has grown into a teenage dirtbag, baby.

Now that he’s not a baby I can say: What a punchable face. Someone should punch that face and never stop punching that face forever.

Also the narration specifically states that seeing Marcus fills Ms Marvel with “an odd sense of calm... along with an unexplainable, and undeniable, attraction.”

HEY. That’s gross, comic. I don’t care about the eventual bullshit handwavey explanation for this nonsense. That. Is. Gross.

And I mean, look at that face. Its a face that only a mother could punch. Because she’s closest.

... And Marcus is wearing his child clothes as a loincloth. Did... did nobody get him grownup clothes? Several Avengers live in this mansion. Raid someone’s closet!

Marcus also continues to be an inscrutable ass and refuses to explain anything until his science project is completed. Like how he already knew Carol’s name.

The weirdness of the situation is sufficient that even Wasp is noticing that the situation is freaky.

But before he can refuse to explain anything any further, there’s a huge explosion and Marcus complains “Not so soon! Not so soon!”

Because outside there’s a dinosaur and several UFOs attacking Avengers Mansion.

... Y’know, usually I’d be excited to see dinosaurs and UFOs living together mass hysteria but in this comic its just time wasting to fill out a page count and throw some action scenes into the mess.

I can’t even enjoy Dinosaurs and Mars Attacking the Avengers.

Of course, the Avengers rush out to go fight the dinosaur. Iron Man even punches a T. Rex in the face. But as said, I can’t enjoy this.

Okay. So there’s one bit of the pointless action that I like. While Vision phases through the ceiling to join the dinosaur punching action, Scarlet Witch runs into a medieval knight who decides that she’s obviously a sorceress and so he’s honor-bound to run her through. As ya do.

Not even stopping to think 'this is bonkers' she uses her probability-altering powers to make the knight’s own lance wrap around his face and throw him off his horse.

Which you may recognize as having a probability of ‘exactly zero that would never happen in any circumstance just admit that her power is magic, comic’ but I don’t even care because I love it when Scarlet Witch gets to Do A Thing.

It takes six pages but the knight manages to get up from that asswhupping and accosts Scarlet Witch with a sword.

He doesn’t even get a chance to get his ass kicked by Wanda again because Jocasta comes out of nowhere and uses her ever-useful eyebeams circumcise his sword.

He tries to stab her with the remaining stump while yelling he won’t be bested by women but the blade just shatters on her invincible metal bust.

Sir Cecil of Clampett then immediately surrenders and sinks to the floor muttering about how he’ll never throw porridge at the queen again if they let him live but they’re not even paying attention to him anymore.

If this is to become another bullshit love triangle, I love that Jocasta is still being a civil, great person coming to Wanda’s aid like that while conceding that Wanda can take care of herself.

I just want there to be super-heroine Avengers who are best friends. MEET MY EXTREMELY LOW BAR DEMANDS, COMIC.

But I skipped over a lot of action scene to get to the part I liked. Lets summarize. Iron Man punches a dinosaur again.

... And then some Native Americans attack Beast, Hawkeye, and Captain America.

I’m uncomfortable with this. And Cap beating them up. And with the usually delightful Beast making jokes while beating them up.

Pro-tip: you should probably never have a man dressed as an American flag punching Native Americans.

Hawkeye is smart enough not to get involved in this. Or paranoid enough. Because he’s sure that Marcus is behind this and runs off to deal with him.

In the... science room? Marcus refuses to leave before he finishes his machine, even as the roof is crumbling around them.

Wonder Man, Yellowjacket, and the Wasp fly off to investigate, Wonder Man cheerfully disobeying orders that he stay and protect Marcus.

Ms Marvel also decides to shove Dr. Donald Blake into a reinforced broom closet for his safety. Which gives Dr. Donald Blake the privacy to turn into Thor so he can fly off and join the pointless action scenes.

It becomes clear that in addition to padding out the story and adding some, any action at all, the point of these time distortion fight scenes was to split the party so that events can unfold without too many people around.

I also take some comfort in knowing that even in this comic, Wonder Man’s intrinsic Wonder Manliness shines through as he Leeroy Jenkinses into the fight and immediately gets blasted by future cannons that he didn’t notice because he was recklessly charging into things.

And then as he considers the benefits of cowardice, he gets attacked by a giant snake. Because Wonder Man.

He gets to throw the snake at a pterodactyl that was bothering Iron Man because the fundamental truth about Wonder Man is one of contrast. Bone-headed failures making more apparent when he manages to do a good job.

Thor shows up and does what Thor does best, invalidate the presence of most of the rest of the Avengers by just being so much stronger than they are.

He creates a giant tornado that sucks up the dinosaurs and UFOs and such.

Thor is the Avengers’ win button.

He also notes that there’s something weirdly familiar about Marcus.

Meanwhile, inside the mansion, Jarvis finds himself accosted by the actual fucking D’Artagnan of the Musketeers. Hahaha what.

Who threatens to stab Jarvis in the tongue if he doesn’t tell him where Rochefort is.

Yellowjacket summons a cloud of ants to distract the musketeer and then Jarvis punches him in his face.

Take that, beloved literary figure.

Meanwhile there are so, so many meanwhiles. But in the nursery lab random location, Marcus tries to convince Ms Marvel to leave while he activates the machine.

But she is struck by a strange compulsion to stay at this side no matter what.

So he makes her smell his fingers or maybe uses pink energy to zap her face and that knocks her unconscious and cover Scarlet O’Haraing in his arms.

Which is the part Hawkeye managed to come in just in time to see.

Assuming that Marcus was attacking Ms. Marvel, Hawkeye fires an exploding arrow at the machine built. Exploding it.

Marcus cries a single tear and then puts Ms. Marvel down safe and comfortable in a pile of assorted rubble and pointy shrapnel.

Hawkeye: “Okay, curly-top, put the lady down, gently!”

Marcus: “Yes. I shall... since that had been my intention all along. FOr I knew that the energies from my machine might prove dangerous to humans, and so had planned to take Ms. Marvel to a place of safety. you see, it had been my wish that no harm should befall anyone. But now, bowman, you’d be well advised to try and kill me! For if you don’t, then by the seven levels of limbo, I shall kill you!”

A smirking Hawkeye replies that sounds fair.

But then the a lightning bolt hits between them and Thor and Iron Man enter the scene.

Thor reiterates that Marcus looks familiar and demands he know the source of this deja vu. But Marcus says he’ll tell them nothing unless they kill him.

Ms. Marvel wakes up off-screen and tells Marcus to cut his shit out.

Ms. Marvel: “I don’t understand you -- but I do know you, somehow. And I sense that you’d no more take a life gratuitously than an Avenger would.”

Marcus: “Well, y-you’re wrong! So you’d best tell your comrades to defend themselves, b-because I’ll destroy anyone who gets in my way! I will!”

Ms. Marvel: “In that case, Marcus -- you can start with me.”

And then she stands between him and Iron Man, Thor, and Hawkeye.

Marcus confesses that he wasn’t going to hurt anyone. He just wanted to goad them into killing him, honest!

Because he couldn’t bear to go back to living like he has been since his father abandoned him. His father... IMMORTUS!

DUN DUN DUN!

Ms. Marvel has some concerns. Like how she’s never met Immortus and definitely never did the nasty with him.

And now the rest of this comic is going to be backstory and exposition. Just pages of Marcus explaining things, while crying a single tear.

So once upon a no-time, Immortus ruled Limbo. Not the Illyana one. Or the fun party game. But the place of no-time that we visited during the Celestial Madonna story. You’d think you’d remember that. I certainly typed enough words words words about it.

Anyway, Immortus grew lonely living in Limbo all by himself (later retconned so that he lived with a bunch of Space Phantoms but they’re all boring) so he decided he’d go cruising for some booty.

So he cruised through Earth’s time-stream and eventually found a woman, the sole survivor of a sinking ship, pulled her from the cold waters, and took her back to Limbo with him.

Marcus: “Once back in Limbo, through a combination of gratitude and the subtle manipulations of my father’s ingenious machines, the woman fell in love with him. My father then created within Limbo a pocket of change -- a bubble where time flowed naturally. It was there that I was created.”

... So to reiterate, Immortus caused a woman to fall in love with him with the aid of “subtle manipulations of... ingenious machines.”

Mind control, basically.

So if Marcus had a dad and a mom and neither of them were Carol then how did Marcus come out of her?

There’s a very... explanation for that though.

Immortus raised Marcus in a yes-time bubble so that he could grow and develop.

But there was a limit to how long a mortal could spend in Limbo before being just rubber-banded back to Earth. Which is what happened to Nameless Mrs Immortus.

And then Immortus went to help on the Wild West Adventure which led to Kang dying trying to kill Thor which led to Immortus dying because Kang is his younger self so he never existed.

Which raises unanswered questions now that we know about Marcus.

If Kang died before becoming Immortus which caused Immortus to fade away, why is Marcus even still around?

Is it because he was in a no-time zone like Limbo, unaffected by changes to the time-stream? If that’s the case, couldn’t Immortus have avoided disappearing in a puff of logic by staying home?

Its possible that after all that time alone and all the regret for his past self’s actions, he wanted to die. But that’s a rude as hell thing to pull on a son.

So Marcus was left alone and even more alone than his father had ever been. As a child of Limbo, if Marcus tried to visit Earth, it would create an irreparable disruption of the local time-stream.

But then he had an idea. Marcus got a wonderful awful idea.

If time disruption was a result of being born into Limbo, what if he were born onto Earth?

And by accelerating his birth and aging processes he could negate the time flux distortion before it became irreversible. Because it would be slowed down or confused by him being a baby.

Time would be like ‘whaaaaaat a baby?’ and get really distracted and out of character.

But it would take an exceptionally strong woman to survive gestating a nine month pregnancy in only a couple days so he searched through time and eventually decided on Ms. Marvel for her powerful combination of Kree and Human strengths.

Also, I think he just has a thing for strong blondes that should kick his ass.

A different version of Marcus, Kang’s son instead of Immortus’ but still named Marcus and still looking the same genetics are weird, later developed a crush on Carol. Her reaction to which was split between ‘wut?’ and ‘get rekt!’

But this Marcus decides to time-kidnap Carol while she was traveling to visit Scarlet Witch in New Jersey. Just takes her right out of the Quinjet and brought her to Limbo.

And thus began the wooing process. Because Marcus wanted to win her hand on his own merits and not through some skeezy mind control technology.

Marcus: “To aid my purpose, I brought others in from Earth’s time continuum. I had Shakespeare write you a sonnet, and Beethoven performed an original prelude in your honor, while Marie Antoinette herself clothed you in the finest of satins and silks. Finally, after relative weeks of such efforts -- and admittedly, with a subtle boost from Immortus’ machines -- you became mine.”

You started off with such noble? intentions of kidnapping a woman and convincing her to love you and then you ended up using mind control anyway. You can’t say he didn’t come by it honestly. Its even the same word choice of ‘subtle.’ Subtle manipulations... subtle boost. He learned it from you, dad. He learned it from watching you.

Anyway, after using a machine to convince Carol that she loved him, he used technology and magical limbo powers to implant his ‘essence’ in her “causing a condition that resembled pregnancy.”

Y’know. In the sense of having a baby growing inside her womb. That’s the resemblance.

Also, also. The process of implanting essence looks a lot like rated-g sex. And now we know what Carol’s orgasm face looks like. Thanks a lot, comics. Thanks a lot.

Anyway, having implanted his ‘essence’ inside of her he wiped her memory and sent her back to Earth a second after she had been taken.

I... don’t know why it was necessary that she have her memory wiped. You’d think that to prevent a lot of anxiety and fear, you’d want her to know that her boyfriend would be popping out of her in a couple days.

The memory wipe and the mention that he totally used machines to make her love him make this one sketchy story. Which, do note, he’s saying right in front of Thor, Iron Man, and Hawkeye.

Who are all nodding and going ‘yeah that sounds like your classic love story right there. Like Beauty and the Beast.’ Because they are fools.

Marcus: “Once ‘reborn,’ I knew that as my artificially accelerated growth progressed, the Limbo effect would become stronger. But I had hoped to build a machine to negate the effect before I reached full maturity -- and the effect became permanent. Then, I could have lived among you, using my knowledge of time and history to better the human race. but when my machine was destroyed, I knew there was no time to build another before the Limbo effect became fixed. Therefore, since I cannot and will not cause the destruction of a world just to realize a dream, my options became either to return to Limbo, living in solemn, solitary hell unto infinity... or else goad you Avengers into killing me, and thus sparing me. Now, I have no options...”

This again raises the specter of why didn’t he just let Carol keep her memories. She could have gone up to Iron Man, Yellowjacket, or Beast and said ‘hey time is going to start breaking, I need you to build a machine. No time to explain, I met a guy and I’m going to give birth to him soon. I SAID NO TIME TO EXPLAIN BUILD FOR ME, WRENCH FOOLS.’

Getting a head start on the machine would have erased some of the race against time aspect.

When Hawkeye asks why he didn’t just tell them any of this, Marcus claims that they never would have trusted the son of one of the Avengers’ oldest enemies.

But Immortus has been more a weird, helpful weirdo than an enemy when you factor in that his first appearance was retconned out of existence by Enchantress. They’ve only ever known him as the guy that helps them fight Kang. Who, in fairness, is one of their oldest enemies.

But Carol decided or perhaps ‘decided’ that Marcus won’t be alone.

Ms Marvel: “I mean that while I still don’t know what I felt for you in Limbo, some of that feeling still lingers. And that, combined with the fact that by some bizarre logic, you are my ‘child’ -- makes me feel closer to you than I’ve felt to anyone in a long, long time. And I think that just might be a relationship worth giving a chance. So I’m returning to Limbo with you.”

Which might be a sweet sentiment minus the fact that the lingering sentiment she feels was mind control and the pseudo-incestual vibe to this whole relationship and MINUS THE FACT THAT EARTH PEOPLE CAN ONLY BE ON LIMBO FOR A LIMITED TIME BEFORE BEING YANKED BACK TO EARTH AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED.

So, no. Nothing about this is a sweet sentiment. Its just layers of horrible.

Iron Man questions if Carol is really sure about what she’s doing and she tells him “not entirely” but she gonna do it anyway. Which at the very least is very Carol Danvers. She tells him to say goodbye to the others.

And then Thor hammerwhirls Marcus and Carol to Limbo. Because he can do that. Remember? He can open space-time rifts by spinning Mjolnir fast enough?

Once Marcus is hammerwhirled off of Earth all of the various time weirderies throughout the mansion vanish, leaving the Avengers who were fighting them perplexed.

And back in the nursery/lab/whatever Hawkeye laments that maybe if he hadn’t destroyed Marcus’ machine none of this would have happened.

Hawkeye: “I can’t help it, Shell-head. I just feel rotten. If I hadn’t destroyed Marcus’ machine --”

Iron Man: “-- Maybe things would have happened the same way, Hawkeye. There’s no way of knowing. We’ve just got to believe that everything worked out for the best.”

Hawkeye: “Yeah, I guess you’re right. That’s all we can do. Believe... and hope that Ms. Marvel lives happily ever after.”

Spoiler: She does not.

So, uh. Yeah. That was Avengers #200.

What does one even say about something like that?

How does something with so many otherwise decent writers turn out like this?

Jim Shooter, George Perez, Bob Layton, and David Michelinie are all credited with writing the plot.

But it seems nobody remembers whose idea this was.

The usual Avengers writer at that time was David Michelinie and he attributes the poor quality of the issue to last minute rewrites and being written by a committee.

David Michelinie: “It’s true that that story originally had a different ending, one suggested by Bob Layton. I believe it involved an alien race (the Kree?) which had reached the limits of its evolutionary possibilities. By generating an alien/human hybrid (impregnating Carol with an alien seed), a new evolutionary path could be created and the dead end could have been circumvented. However, after that storyline had been set up and Avengers #200 plotted, a story came out in another title which almost exactly duplicated the story we had scheduled for Avengers #200. So a last minute alternative was hammered together (hence the plot credit for four different people on that issue) and was hastily drawn and scripted to meet extremely tight deadlines. I don’t remember why we sent Carol Danvers off with Marcus, and out of the Avengers, but I assume it was something that was put together in that marathon plot session.”

The comic that duplicated the original proposed #200 probably would have been What If? #20: What If the Avengers had Fought the Kree-Skrull War Without Rick Jones? Wherein the Supreme Intelligence fuses with Rick Jones’ corpse to become a new being.

In the sense of creating a Kree/Human hybrid, I guess it was stepping on #200′s toes. Although Carol is already a Kree/Human hybrid anyway so. Whatever.

Artist George Perez says in his book:

George Perez: “I don’t remember if it was Dave or Jim who did the Carol Danvers pregnancy story. I believe by the time it was printed it was by four different writers or something. That was probably not the most shining hour for the character, but I liked the idea that they had the story that I really love, which was kind of a precursor to what I would end up doing in Crisis [on Infinite Earths], stuff where you could draw anything happening from various time zones. Like issue 200 of the Avengers, I got to draw a dinosaur attacking Avengers Mansion, with a biplane flying [by]. All this great stuff I eventually got to do with Crisis on Infinite Earths, I got to do with the Avengers.”

As for Jim Shooter, he weirdly both disavows any knowledge of how this happened and also takes full credit.

Jim Shooter: “I found my copy of Avengers #200. I read it. I agree with the consensus, it’s heinous. But, I don’t remember much about how it got that way.

I am credited not only as Editor in Chief but as one of the co-plotters. However, I didn’t see anything in the book that jogged my memory. No bits that I remember suggesting. No corrections of the sort I might have made to a plot passed before me.

But I did see many things I would have changed if I’d seen the plot. For instance, leaving aside the Ms. Marvel mess for the nonce: Iron Man thinks it’s okay for the weird, mysterious child to be given a “laser torch” and electronic equipment so he can build a machine. What?! As the massive machine is being assembled, no one bothers to question what it is or does. What?! Trouble ensues. No kidding, really? Good grief.

At that time, I didn’t approve plots. Editors did. I can think of no reason that plot would have been passed before me. I don’t remember participating in a plotting session. David Michelinie lived far away and seldom came to the office. He and Bob Layton plotted books together mostly over the phone, then Dave wrote them up and presented them to the editor. I don’t know to what extent George Perez was involved. George often added bits and scenes, or made small changes to stories he was drawing, so possibly that is why he was given a plot credit. Usually writers didn’t mind George’s modifications because they were generally pretty good.

Generally, the first time I saw a book was when the finished pages were given to me to sign off on before they were sent to Chemical Color, the separators. There were exceptions, of course, books with which I was more involved. I don’t think this was one of them. But, possibly I made some suggestions that garnered me a ‘co-plotter’ credit, and if so, what was I thinking?

And, I guess I signed off on this book.

I regret it.

But, in those days, in any case, the buck stopped at my desk. I take full responsibility. I screwed up. My judgement failed, or maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention. Sorry. Avengers #200 is a travesty.”

I’m not here to unravel this mystery or cast blame. Although I blame everyone, really.

Shooter is right that the buck stopped at him and he said yeah sure buck go on ahead. Good on him for taking that blame.

Was Avengers #200 the worst story in Avengers history?

I don’t know. I can’t rightly say. I’ve only covered 200 out of... somewhere over 500.

Its not the worst written Avengers story. That would probably be the Crossing crossover. So convoluted and impenetrable, nobody is quite sure what order the issues should be read in.

It might not even be the most offensive. Avengers #33 tried to say that racism is made up by communists.

Its definitely a contender.

Made worse that nobody involved seemed to realize what message they were putting out, which judging by some comments I’ve seen was just unblinkingly accepted by children who read this back in the day.

But here’s the thing. Four different people had enough input to get a co-plotter credit and not one of them went ‘maybe we shouldn’t.’

You can blame the writing by committee for the uneven quality and weird tonal whiplash but you can’t blame it for the central problem where Ms Marvel is raped and impregnated against her will and against her very clearly stated desire not to have children.

That was the foundation of this entire thing.

Even before the story was changed, it was going to be about Carol being impregnated mysteriously. The only thing that was changed was the set dressing. Instead of the Supreme Intelligence and the Kree, it was changed to Immortus’ son.

Because this was a milestone celebration and the important thing here was that a long-time Avengers enemy be behind it.

(Its not even a good milestone celebration. Whose story is this really? Its not really Carol’s. Things happen to her and then she gets a sendoff that would make Doctor Who say ‘whoa, too far.’ It doesn’t celebrate her as a hero. It doesn’t celebrate any of the other Avengers and their history. This is a story about Marcus? And who the fuck is Marcus? The previously unmentioned story of a barely recurring Avengers frenemy. Avengers 100 had EVERY AVENGER. They were badly utilized but thats how you do a milestone.)

There’s no reason to believe that the setup pre-rewrites was going to be any different. Ms Marvel suddenly coming down with a bad case of three-day pregnancy while being alarmed and terrified by what was happening.

There are stories that are bad because of rewrites. And then there are stories that would have been bad from the very conception.

And this would have been one of them.

Pun unintended.

No matter how well-written Avengers #200 was. It would always have been the story where Carol Danvers was written out.

Maybe she wouldn’t have headed off into Limbo at the end because of lingering mind-control affection for her rapist/son but I feel it likely she still would have left the team. Probably gone into space to raise her Kreeman baby.

Heinous and travesty are right.

Could this story have been salvaged?

Like I said, the core concept was Ms Marvel getting mysteriously pregnant. They moved the tombstones but didn’t move the bodies. You’d have to get entirely away from that to find something worth telling.

You could do something with the time weirdery that lets the Avengers punch dinosaurs and maybe relive some old enemies. That could be a way to do a milestone issue. Harkening back without literally just reprinting old panels. Right, AVENGERS 150??

You could have done the pregnancy thing is Carol was an active and willing participant and didn’t have her mind wiped but it still would have felt gross. Because you had her loudly announce her opinion that punching people was more important than motherhood to her.

Do you see, various people who worked on this book, that by having her say that and then immediately become pregnant that it kind of feels vindictive? Punishing her for the words you put in her mouth? And that anything that comes after that will be tainted by that?

Also, mysterious pregnancy plots are usually bad. The only one I can think of that wasn’t was the Spider-Woman plot and the only mystery was that she wouldn’t tell people that she just got a sperm donor so she could make them think that Carol was the father somehow. And its still not great that someone’s thought was ‘what surprising twist can I do with this female character after a time skip? PREGNANCY!’

So was Avengers #200 salvageable? God no. Some of the interpersonal interaction bits were okay. But the actual plot itself was bad, bad, bad. I couldn’t even enjoy the time weirdery because it was disembodied from the plot and was time wasting action scenes and to split the party.

Iron Man punched a T. Rex. TWICE.

I should be gushing about that. I should never stop gushing about it. But it does nothing for me.

Carol Danvers will return... In Avengers Annual #10, angry as hell.

Follow @essential-avengers. Because I will cover Avengers Annual #10 wherein Carol Danvers is angry as hell.

[michellelinkous]

‘It was opened for my little guy’

Jeremiah Young entered the world four months early.

Born in Traverse City on March 9, 2015, he weighed a mere 1 pound, 7 ounces.

That same morning, about 130 miles to the south, neonatologists celebrated the inaugural opening of the new small baby unit at Spectrum Health Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital.

The new unit—part of the hospital’s Gerber Foundation Neonatal Center—had been uniquely designed for babies born at 26 weeks gestation or earlier.

Babies just like Jeremiah.

“It gives me goosebumps when I think about the fact that it opened the day he was born,” said Anita Young, his mother. “If he had not been taken to Grand Rapids, then I am not sure he would be here today.”

Jeremiah is now a thriving 5-year-old gearing up to start kindergarten.

He loves to play outside and ride his bicycle.

He has one speed—fast.

Meanwhile, the small baby unit has solidified its place as a state-of-the-art facility that each year gives 50 to 60 of the community’s most fragile newborns a chance to not only survive but thrive.

“We are just completely overjoyed and so proud to know that we are a huge part of their journey from the very beginning,” said Krista Haines, MD, lead neonatologist for the small baby unit.

“It makes all the work we put into making this small baby unit the best (one) ever worthwhile.”

An early start

Jeremiah’s mother feels those early days in the small baby unit set him up to learn to fight hard battles.

“He really continues to blow my mind and amaze me. He’s pretty spectacular. He’s overcome a lot in life,” she said. “His resilience and his drive is amazing.”

Jeremiah was rushed from Traverse City to Grand Rapids immediately after his birth.

At the time, Anita and her husband, Cory, were licensed for foster care of older children. They were also raising three biological children—Jenna, Jacob and Jessica, who were 12, 14 and 18 at the time.

“We kept getting all of these calls for babies,” she said. “My husband was adamant we were done with babies. He said, ‘We’re done with diapers.’”

But when they saw the desperate need, they told their social worker they were open to a baby.

Very soon after, they got a call about an 8-month-old baby girl who needed a home immediately.

The social worker added that she had a newborn biological brother who had just been born prematurely at 24 weeks.

“I just remember calling my husband and saying, ‘Well, how do you feel about two babies?’” Anita said.

Love at first sight

When Jeremiah turned 4 weeks old, Anita and Cory drove from their home in Traverse City to Grand Rapids and stepped into the small baby unit for the first time to meet him.

“I loved him from the second I saw him,” Anita said.

She remembers the moment well.

“I remember just breaking down,” she said. “He looked so tiny and frail. You could see through his skin, and it was unbelievable to me that he could sustain life. I could not believe it was possible that they were able to do what they can do.”

They put their hands in Jeremiah’s isolette and gently touched him. They had to be very quiet because any noise could overstimulate him.

On her third visit, Anita held Jeremiah for the first time. He was 6 weeks old.

“That was another day that was just unbelievable,” she said. “The very first time they put him on my chest the tears would not stop coming. It was amazing. It’s a little terrifying too because you’re so worried about doing something to hurt him.”

She remembers the nurses who worked together to help transfer him to her arms safely.

“I have such a special admiration and love for all of those NICU nurses,” she said. “They are an incredible group of people. I will never forget.”

Providing parents and newborns with skin-to-skin contact—also popularly known as kangaroo care—as early and often as possible is a priority of the unit. And it’s no small task, Dr. Haines said.

It takes a team of nurses and therapists to do it safely.

“It’s not an easy therapy, but it’s one that we are really focused on,” Dr. Haines said. “We do a really wonderful job with skin-to-skin.”

The Youngs visited every weekend, while also caring for Jeremiah’s older sister, Joyce, at home.

During each visit, while Jeremiah rested on Anita’s bare chest, his oxygen levels would rise so high the nurses would have to adjust the ventilator.

“It didn’t take me long to figure out that it was so healing for him,” Anita said.

A gentle start

While the hospital’s NICU had always been able to care for babies born before 27 weeks, the small baby unit provided an environment specifically suited to their unique needs, Dr. Haines said.

This includes subdued lighting and sounds to help encourage healthy sleep and wake cycles for their rapidly developing brain and nervous system.

“We wanted to make their environment as quiet, stable and soothing as possible because they are so fragile and underdeveloped,” she said.

The unit employs specially trained doctors and nurses, as well as respiratory therapists, occupational therapists, physical therapists and more.

“We had all of those same players before, but with the small baby unit we were able to develop a cohesive approach to how we were going to take care of extremely premature babies with a special focus on neuroprotective and developmental care,” Dr. Haines said.

Thriving in life

Jeremiah underwent various procedures during his time in the NICU.

Heart surgery to repair a vessel. Two eye surgeries for retinopathy, an abnormal development of the retinal blood vessels. He also survived a sepsis infection and chronic lung disease that prevented him from ever bottle feeding, as well as other setbacks.

At 4 months old, around his due date, Jeremiah graduated from the small baby unit to the regular NICU. On Aug. 24—nearly six months after his birth—Anita and Cory brought him home.

He weighed 12 pounds.

The day before he came home, they had dropped their oldest daughter off at college in Illinois. On their way back north, they picked up Jeremiah and brought him home.

“It was a struggle,” she said. “We were hoping and praying this was all going to work out because it was all a juggling act for sure.”

But through it all, it felt right.

“It’s a calling,” Anita said. “And I sort of feel like it was part of our purpose on the earth. I really have a great desire and need to care for people.”

Jeremiah’s adoption, along with his sister Joyce’s, became finalized in June 2017.

He still faces struggles, including a slight vision impairment and mild asthma. He still has a G-tube for feeding, though that should be removed soon.

He participated in Early On Michigan, a system for helping infants and toddlers with special needs.

At age 3, he started preschool through a special education program.

“He loves school,” Anita said.

When schools closed during the COVID-19 quarantine, he missed his classmates terribly.

Now it’s impossible for Anita to imagine her family without all five of her J’s: Jeremiah, 5, Joyce, 6, Jenna, 17, Jacob, 19, and Jessica, 23.

“I really feel like they have rocked our world and blessed our lives,” she said.

And as for the small baby unit?

She’s pretty sure its opening day five years ago was meant to be.

“It was opened for my little guy,” she said.

‘It was opened for my little guy’ published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.tumblr.com/

[gordonwilliamsweb]

‘It was opened for my little guy’

Jeremiah Young entered the world four months early.

Born in Traverse City on March 9, 2015, he weighed a mere 1 pound, 7 ounces.

That same morning, about 130 miles to the south, neonatologists celebrated the inaugural opening of the new small baby unit at Spectrum Health Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital.

The new unit—part of the hospital’s Gerber Foundation Neonatal Center—had been uniquely designed for babies born at 26 weeks gestation or earlier.

Babies just like Jeremiah.

“It gives me goosebumps when I think about the fact that it opened the day he was born,” said Anita Young, his mother. “If he had not been taken to Grand Rapids, then I am not sure he would be here today.”

Jeremiah is now a thriving 5-year-old gearing up to start kindergarten.

He loves to play outside and ride his bicycle.

He has one speed—fast.

Meanwhile, the small baby unit has solidified its place as a state-of-the-art facility that each year gives 50 to 60 of the community’s most fragile newborns a chance to not only survive but thrive.

“We are just completely overjoyed and so proud to know that we are a huge part of their journey from the very beginning,” said Krista Haines, MD, lead neonatologist for the small baby unit.

“It makes all the work we put into making this small baby unit the best (one) ever worthwhile.”

An early start

Jeremiah’s mother feels those early days in the small baby unit set him up to learn to fight hard battles.

“He really continues to blow my mind and amaze me. He’s pretty spectacular. He’s overcome a lot in life,” she said. “His resilience and his drive is amazing.”

Jeremiah was rushed from Traverse City to Grand Rapids immediately after his birth.

At the time, Anita and her husband, Cory, were licensed for foster care of older children. They were also raising three biological children—Jenna, Jacob and Jessica, who were 12, 14 and 18 at the time.

“We kept getting all of these calls for babies,” she said. “My husband was adamant we were done with babies. He said, ‘We’re done with diapers.’”

But when they saw the desperate need, they told their social worker they were open to a baby.

Very soon after, they got a call about an 8-month-old baby girl who needed a home immediately.

The social worker added that she had a newborn biological brother who had just been born prematurely at 24 weeks.

“I just remember calling my husband and saying, ‘Well, how do you feel about two babies?’” Anita said.

Love at first sight

When Jeremiah turned 4 weeks old, Anita and Cory drove from their home in Traverse City to Grand Rapids and stepped into the small baby unit for the first time to meet him.

“I loved him from the second I saw him,” Anita said.

She remembers the moment well.

“I remember just breaking down,” she said. “He looked so tiny and frail. You could see through his skin, and it was unbelievable to me that he could sustain life. I could not believe it was possible that they were able to do what they can do.”

They put their hands in Jeremiah’s isolette and gently touched him. They had to be very quiet because any noise could overstimulate him.

On her third visit, Anita held Jeremiah for the first time. He was 6 weeks old.

“That was another day that was just unbelievable,” she said. “The very first time they put him on my chest the tears would not stop coming. It was amazing. It’s a little terrifying too because you’re so worried about doing something to hurt him.”

She remembers the nurses who worked together to help transfer him to her arms safely.

“I have such a special admiration and love for all of those NICU nurses,” she said. “They are an incredible group of people. I will never forget.”

Providing parents and newborns with skin-to-skin contact—also popularly known as kangaroo care—as early and often as possible is a priority of the unit. And it’s no small task, Dr. Haines said.

It takes a team of nurses and therapists to do it safely.

“It’s not an easy therapy, but it’s one that we are really focused on,” Dr. Haines said. “We do a really wonderful job with skin-to-skin.”

The Youngs visited every weekend, while also caring for Jeremiah’s older sister, Joyce, at home.

During each visit, while Jeremiah rested on Anita’s bare chest, his oxygen levels would rise so high the nurses would have to adjust the ventilator.

“It didn’t take me long to figure out that it was so healing for him,” Anita said.

A gentle start

While the hospital’s NICU had always been able to care for babies born before 27 weeks, the small baby unit provided an environment specifically suited to their unique needs, Dr. Haines said.

This includes subdued lighting and sounds to help encourage healthy sleep and wake cycles for their rapidly developing brain and nervous system.

“We wanted to make their environment as quiet, stable and soothing as possible because they are so fragile and underdeveloped,” she said.

The unit employs specially trained doctors and nurses, as well as respiratory therapists, occupational therapists, physical therapists and more.

“We had all of those same players before, but with the small baby unit we were able to develop a cohesive approach to how we were going to take care of extremely premature babies with a special focus on neuroprotective and developmental care,” Dr. Haines said.

Thriving in life

Jeremiah underwent various procedures during his time in the NICU.

Heart surgery to repair a vessel. Two eye surgeries for retinopathy, an abnormal development of the retinal blood vessels. He also survived a sepsis infection and chronic lung disease that prevented him from ever bottle feeding, as well as other setbacks.

At 4 months old, around his due date, Jeremiah graduated from the small baby unit to the regular NICU. On Aug. 24—nearly six months after his birth—Anita and Cory brought him home.

He weighed 12 pounds.

The day before he came home, they had dropped their oldest daughter off at college in Illinois. On their way back north, they picked up Jeremiah and brought him home.

“It was a struggle,” she said. “We were hoping and praying this was all going to work out because it was all a juggling act for sure.”

But through it all, it felt right.

“It’s a calling,” Anita said. “And I sort of feel like it was part of our purpose on the earth. I really have a great desire and need to care for people.”

Jeremiah’s adoption, along with his sister Joyce’s, became finalized in June 2017.

He still faces struggles, including a slight vision impairment and mild asthma. He still has a G-tube for feeding, though that should be removed soon.

He participated in Early On Michigan, a system for helping infants and toddlers with special needs.

At age 3, he started preschool through a special education program.

“He loves school,” Anita said.

When schools closed during the COVID-19 quarantine, he missed his classmates terribly.

Now it’s impossible for Anita to imagine her family without all five of her J’s: Jeremiah, 5, Joyce, 6, Jenna, 17, Jacob, 19, and Jessica, 23.

“I really feel like they have rocked our world and blessed our lives,” she said.

And as for the small baby unit?

She’s pretty sure its opening day five years ago was meant to be.

“It was opened for my little guy,” she said.

‘It was opened for my little guy’ published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[calicofigs]

Premature Preparedness

Governor Walz said that he is getting closer to issuing a state-wide lockdown, which is what I think each state should do, since it appears that many are not taking seriously the recommendation to isolate. I am googling topics such as “Should you sanitize a cardboard box before you bring it in your house?” “Should you sanitize a potato that resembles a butt (see previous post) before you let your son run around house with it?” Yet, others are still gathering for spring break, letting their children play soccer at parks with friends or going on unnecessary errands.

 Unless you are over 100 years-old and lived through the Spanish flu, a global pandemic of this magnitude is something you have never experienced. Most of us think of lethal disease as cancer and heart attack, rather than the ever-prevalent viruses that we catch by simply living our daily lives.  Even though most of us share these ideas about disease, I am struck by the wide range of reactions, from sharing every possible bodily fluid on a Florida beach to sanitizing a soup can that was delivered to the doorstep.  Certainly, if we had a competent commander in chief, there would be more people isolating and the curve would be flatter than it is now.  Yet, I still think that a significant portion of the population would not be taking the situation seriously. As I consider the reasons for my actions and reactions, I think my experiences with healthcare have profoundly shaped the decisions I am making at this time.  

 Last week, I texted my friend Jen whom I met almost fourteen years ago when our sons, both born twelve weeks early, were roommates in the NICU. (This was before the NICU had private rooms and six babies shared one large area). We agreed that there was a certain amount of familiarity in the current situation. I would guess anyone who has had a significantly premature infant or has had experience with a significant medical crisis is not finding these recommendations surprising. It’s all a little bit of history repeated – the constant hand washing, the sharp scent of sanitizer, the world shrinking to the size of your house, the people in your life thinking that your “no visitor policy” or your eventual revised visitor policy that involves questions about health, distancing and hand washing is draconian. Fourteen years ago, however, our medical infrastructure was not about to blow-up and so the fear of my son catching a cold, the flu or RSV was not heightened by the fear that there would not be a hospital bed or a ventilator if he needed it.

           This inevitable lack of hospital beds, ventilators, and medical care is one reason that I am committed to keeping my family at home and quarantined.  Though lucky that our sons did not have some of the more serious complications of prematurity, “the boys” as Jen’s son and my son came to be called by their shared nurses, struggled with breathing, as most premature babies do.  Even with oxygen support the alarms would sometimes sound half a dozen times in an hour, as their oxygen levels and heart rates plummeted. Even though, at a little under three pounds, he was considered a bigger preemie for his gestational age, my son was tiny and fragile.  I could see his grape-sized lungs and little heart working hard through his thin skin which was stretched over a chest that lacked a cushion of body fat.  His lungs were his most important resource and days were measured by the length of time he could breathe without the alarms sounding and the fractions of ounces he gained. While I never became inured to the alarms and oxygen drops, it did become more routine and Jen and I and the nurses would reprimand “the boys” when they stopped breathing at the same time.

However, late one evening, as I was getting ready to go home the alarm went off and did not stop. I foamed my hands with sanitizer, reached in his incubator and readjusted his tiny body to no avail. The nurse rushed over, repositioned him, and rubbed his chest. Another nurse arrived. The code blue button was screeching, the nurse bagged him, a doctor came running in.  He turned blue, a terrible dark icy blue, and I heard myself yelling “Breath!! Breath. Oh my God just breath. Please. Please Breath.”

Being the first child, eminently responsible and a stickler for rules he did indeed begin to breathe again and was none the worse for the experience. He went home two months after he was born and for the first months he and I pretty much stayed at home. These were the days before FaceTime and other social media so I spent a lot of time sitting on the couch just looking at my baby. Even now I would love to take the time to sit on the couch and just look at my three children, but since the last family dog walk had to be postponed until someone got another kill on Fortenite, I doubt this will happen.  

Gradually my first born and I went out into the world. I scared a sweet grandmotherly woman at Hallmark when I yelled at her to ‘get away from the baby’ when she came too close to the stroller.  As our dish to pass for Christmas dinner, my husband and I brought a giant container of hand sanitizer and insisted everyone used it. Jen and I planned a four-hour outing to the outlet mall more with more detail and consideration than the president has used since January, when he was briefed on Covid-19.

Since my first son’s birth, I have had two more children. I gave birth to another premature son and adopted a daughter who had been incredibly healthy until this year when she was hospitalized twice for pneumonia. I cannot take health, breathing, and medical care for granted. While I would not wish this experience on anyone, I am grateful for learning these big lessons from the tiniest lives. I am still angry and confused by those who are not following guidelines but I also wonder if it is my experience, even more than my moral compass, which impels me to choose self-quarantine and a strict adherence to all recommendations.

Not all of our experiences are the same and many people, particularly those who are younger, are not acquainted with medical situations in which life and death depends upon good medical care and the avoidance of illness. This is exactly why our leaders must authorize lockdowns, shelter in place orders, and the stoppage of all but essential services.

[mikemarko567-blog]

What Jacqueline Photography Can Do For You | Ur Money Magnet

Listening to our clients’ desires as well as requires is the key to exceeding their expectations, and when we do, it is the most effective feasible method to market your baby photography Columbus since they will subsequently tell all their loved ones concerning the incredible experience you have actually produced for them. As well as expectant ladies understand expectant females, so it will certainly be your finest form of advertising.

With every family photography Columbus Ohio session, I believe it’s similarly essential to not just develop stunning photos, yet to offer that extraordinary experience. Rather than only trying to obtain the following terrific shot, we have to concentrate on the convenience and security of the baby and also developing the excellent setting. When the infant fits as well as secure, the circulation of your sessions will become easier.

Understanding babies and knowing with what makes them comfy is paramount throughout a birth photography Columbus Ohio session. By producing a baby-friendly atmosphere in your workshop, you’ll not only cut down on the amount of time it requires to fire, but you’ll have the ability to position as well as photo the baby in his or her most calm state.

Remember that newborn babies have actually spent the last 9 months in the womb. The more you can do to recreate this setting, the happier your little subject will certainly be. With that said in mind, you could adhere to these straightforward steps to keeping newborn babies comfortable and comfortable.

Do You Require Training?

The short answer is of course. It matters not how competent you go to newborn photography since the skills required to be safe as well as of an excellent standard as newborn photography are actually very various than anything you have done before. If you choose to become a wedding celebration digital photographer with no training, the most awful that might occur is you let down a pair on their wedding day. As poor as that could be, nobody will certainly get injured. Infants are fragile and also should be taken care of appropriately.

They can suffer blood circulation issues, are poor at regulating their temperature, as well as cannot tell you when they are feeling unpleasant, which suggests they are depending on you to take care of them in all times. The correct training will certainly instruct you safe handling strategies, how to identify signs of the child not enjoying for several factors, along with basic safety and security as well as various other important locations.

Steps In An Effective Photography Service

Newborns are swamped with sound throughout their nine months in gestation. Not just do they hear their mother’s heartbeat, they tune right into her blood flow, a gastrointestinal system as well as her voice. While you do not want to play loud music, you may attempt plugging in a piece of white-noise equipment (you could download white-noise applications on iTunes) or a heartbeat display to recreate the baby’s time in the womb.

Chances are your clients are very exhausted from the absence of rest and also the anxiety that can have a new addition to the family. Newborns notice their moms and dads’ tension degrees, so a lot more loosened up and also comfy you keep mother and father, the better. Make parents really feel welcome, use them some water and aim to get in touch with them on an individual degree. The calmer the parents are, the calmer the baby will be.

Every infant is various and will certainly not enter into every position. They each have their own comfortable area, and at absolutely no point must they be forced into any kind of setting. When a child becomes unclear, her parents end up being unsettled, so make certain that the moms and dads and relative are delighting in the session. Gain moms and dads’ self-confidence by revealing them that the safety of their baby is one of the most important facets of your newborn photography session. We should keep in mind that it is an advantage to be asked to photograph these little bundles.

Photographing newborns does not have to be made complex. The most basic of images are frequently one of the most gorgeous and also valued. Baby safety first

Safety rules you have to have in your studio:

Never ever leave a child unattended in a prop, on your posturing bag or with a young brother or sister.

Constantly have a spotter or moms and dad beside your child when making use of props.

Make use of a support hand or finger when posturing the infant, and clone it out later on in Photoshop.

Do not require a baby right into any type of pose. Rather, change her to where she is comfortable.

Have your electronic camera band around your neck when shooting above the infant.

Never base on anything above the child.

Never ever place a child inside or on an object that might break or drop.

Never use glass props.

Verdict

So in recap, I would certainly recommend you take your time setting up as a newborn photographer. Research good training, as well as consider that in this area specifically, you obtain what you spend for.

The most essential location for your development as a newborn photographer will be creating secure handling of the baby in your very early months. The self-confidence in positioning takes time, which is where your emphasis should be, out having all the props and also the largest option of hats.

Just what will certainly establish you apart as a top newborn professional photographer will never be the remarkable established your style– it will certainly be just how excellent your posturing is, and also how comfortable your child searches in the pictures.

[sailorrrvenus]

The Winning Photos of the 2019 Wet Plate Competition

Modern Collodion has just announced the winners of the 2019 Wet Plate Competition, the second annual contest for wet plate collodion photographers around the world after launching last year.

This year, over 220 photos were submitted by 90 photographers based in 19 different countries. The judges, Michael Godek, Giles Clement, Alex Timmermans, Tom DeLooza, and Paul Barden, spent nearly a month on “difficult deliberation” before deciding on the handful of winning wet plates.

Here are the 2019 winning photos, artists, and stories:

Grand Prize: “Two Nails” by David Russo

I first became interested in collodion after seeing the work of Sally Mann in a photo book several years ago. I found the photographs moving and the process itself rather compelling. In 2013, I attended a workshop at the George Eastman Museum to study under Mark Osterman and learn the wet plate process. I’ve been practicing ever since.

Two Nails is an attempt to share something of my own experience with the world. It comes from an ongoing body of work titled The Framer. I’ve been working professionally as a picture framer for nearly a decade now, and it seemed like a natural extension of my working life to begin photographing the tools of the trade. With this ambrotype, I wanted to make a self-portrait that sought beauty in its simplicity.

Making the plate itself was a real labor of love. I say this, in part, because it took two months to work through. How does one make nails float? The answer, it turns out, is a lot of hard work. Through the use of selective focus, lighting, perspective, and a bit of custom fabrication, I was able to achieve the illusion. For me, the process was all about trial and error. I’ve discovered you learn a lot in the trying.

Studio Portrait, 1st Place: “Gestation” by Gianni Eros Cusumano

I have always lived in big cities, now I live in a tiny medieval village surrounded by nature. My approach to photography, through wet plate collodion process, reflects the slowness of the place where I live.

I also really like portraiture, the result of a tension between me and the subjects in front of me that results in a unique image.

This plate (10×12 inch) is part of a series called “Gestation” consisting of four collodion plates on clear glass. Each plate is the result of a double exposure: one image of the silhouette of my pregnant wife, obtained through a backward illumination of the subject with continuous light; and another one of the grain I placed on a black background.

The idea come up during the period of my wife’s pregnancy and was created two days before my daughter Giorgia’s birth. Seeing the transformation that my wife had during her pregnancy time was an incredible experience. Day after day her body has become more and more beautiful and strong in order to protect the life she was carrying on.

Studio Portrait, Runner Up: “Waltnessmonsta” by Matt Alberts

Feeling frustrated with the meaninglessness of most digital photography in combination with a desire to make something with my hands, I found the wet collodion process. In February of 2013 I took a class taught by Quinn Jacobson and thereafter we became good friends. I related to Quinn’s philosophy that the collodion process should be used to create something meaningful; he took me under his wing and he became my mentor. While apprenticing at Quinn’s studio in Denver, I invited my close friend and skateboarder, Walter Lacey, over to show him the process and take his portrait.

The plate “Waltnessmonsta” was one of the earliest images I made for the LIFERS project series. This shot was made using a 11×14 Deerdorff studio camera with a 320mm CC Harrison Petzval lens. The image is on black glass.

Natural Light Portrait, 1st Place: “Ballet in the Castle” by Gabriel Kiss

This photo is the result of a three days long preparation and negotiation. The photo shooting took place in one of Hungary’s most beautiful castles, the Esterhazy palace. Because it is a scheduled monument we needed a lot of permits. With the figure of the ballet dancer I did not want to point out the dance but rather to emphasize the tension surrounding the dance itself, its edges and lines.

Natural Light Portrait, Runner Up: “Gravity” by Keira Hudson

I originally studied printmaking at RMIT University in Melbourne, Australia from 2009-12 before transitioning to photography. I worked digitally for five years until I grew tired of working in front of a screen and decided to enroll in a tintype/ambrotype workshop at Gold Street Studios in Trentham.

I am inspired by a mixture of artists, writers, films and TV shows, and have a large hard drive full of media collected over 10 years. The artists whose work I regularly revisit include Berlinde de Bruyckere, Jenny Saville, Lauren Simonutti, and Sally Mann. I am drawn in by the rawness of their work, and the treatment of the human body in their respective practices.

For the past few years I have been working on a series centered around anxiety, and the body’s physical and emotional responses to persistent overthinking. I incorporate props such as thread, clothing, plastic wrap, and glass vessels into my photographs to restrict and compress the flesh, and recreate the daily feelings of anxiety I experience. In “Gravity”, I wanted the body to be suffocated in a glass and water cage.

Still Life, 1st Place: “Incroyable!” by Libby & Stephen of Henrietta’s Eye

We are primarily self-taught having been introduced to wet plate collodion almost by accident when a friend showed us the basics of the process. Admittedly, there’s more than a little bit of punk rock, DIY attitude in us, so making photographs the hard way somehow naturally meant for us that we’d also learn the hard way.

About our piece, fully titled Incroyable! (Wednesday, November 9, 2016): intentionally referencing the surrealist painter Magritte, it’s our attempt at expressing the collective spasm of disbelief felt by many following the 2016 presidential election in the United States — not just the surreal nature of that moment but the outrageous nature of life since. Beyond the symbology of the carnation, the suit and tie and mushroom cloud-like explosion, it was thematically relevant to use the in-camera trick photography associated with the early 1900s spiritualist movement to express this communal gasp and the experience of being hoodwinked by charlatans.

Still Life, Runner Up: “The World and The Man” by Gabriel Kiss

My photo was born from the idea that the egg as the origin of our world – the birth – has already been set on its edge and has to balance on it. And the scissors as the sword of Damocles are swaying above the egg. The rope can break any time and they can smash into the fragile eggshell.

Landscape/Architecture, 1st Place: “A Quiet Lakeside” by Maximilian Zeitler

Last October someone broke into the shared place I use for a studio and stole nearly all my large format cameras and a very rare and big lens I got borrowed from a friend for ultra large format portraits. Gathering equipment for wet plate always means searching auction houses and hoping to be lucky. Since I started wet plate about four years ago I therefore tried to get good equipment to work – that then was gone.

When I had overcome the first shock I packed the last ‚portable‘ wooden camera and all my darkroom equipment and drove into the Spreewald near Berlin to escape the studio and all the bad thoughts. At this small lake in the woods I set up the camera from 1890 together with an old wide angle lens from 1880 and exposed one plate around 60 seconds.

One should always keep on doing what you love!

Landscape/Architecture, Runner Up: “The Best Day” by Lynnette Bierbaum

I started doing wet plate collodion two years ago and glassblowing shortly thereafter. I stumbled through being self-taught with wet plate in the beginning but wanted to learn more about the process. I took a wet plate collodion class taught by Dan Estabrook at Penland School of Crafts in the summer of 2018 and returned again as a studio assistant for Jill Enfield in the spring of 2019.

These opportunities allowed me to refine and continue printing on my blown glass forms. I strive to find a balance between two and three-dimensional planes within my art. I blow the glass vessels to create an extension beyond the photograph that is just as important as the image itself.

I use positives in contact with the wet plate emulsion under an enlarger to expose the images onto the three-dimensional glass forms. Next, I develop, and varnish before removing the frame from the glass.

The idea behind the forms was my constant search for belonging and a place to call home. I always knew that the Midwest wasn’t the place for me, so I started traveling around the world looking for my idea of a home. Home is more than just a place, it’s about finding the right person, community and artifacts to make a place your home. The image printed on this glass vessel was taken in Ebeltoft, Denmark.

You can find a gallery of Honorable Mention wet plates as well as the full gallery of submissions over on the competition website (warning: some of the photos are not safe for work).

source https://petapixel.com/2019/04/11/the-winning-photos-of-the-2019-wet-plate-competition/

[pauldeckerus]

The Winning Photos of the 2019 Wet Plate Competition

Modern Collodion has just announced the winners of the 2019 Wet Plate Competition, the second annual contest for wet plate collodion photographers around the world after launching last year.

This year, over 220 photos were submitted by 90 photographers based in 19 different countries. The judges, Michael Godek, Giles Clement, Alex Timmermans, Tom DeLooza, and Paul Barden, spent nearly a month on “difficult deliberation” before deciding on the handful of winning wet plates.

Here are the 2019 winning photos, artists, and stories:

Grand Prize: “Two Nails” by David Russo

I first became interested in collodion after seeing the work of Sally Mann in a photo book several years ago. I found the photographs moving and the process itself rather compelling. In 2013, I attended a workshop at the George Eastman Museum to study under Mark Osterman and learn the wet plate process. I’ve been practicing ever since.

Two Nails is an attempt to share something of my own experience with the world. It comes from an ongoing body of work titled The Framer. I’ve been working professionally as a picture framer for nearly a decade now, and it seemed like a natural extension of my working life to begin photographing the tools of the trade. With this ambrotype, I wanted to make a self-portrait that sought beauty in its simplicity.

Making the plate itself was a real labor of love. I say this, in part, because it took two months to work through. How does one make nails float? The answer, it turns out, is a lot of hard work. Through the use of selective focus, lighting, perspective, and a bit of custom fabrication, I was able to achieve the illusion. For me, the process was all about trial and error. I’ve discovered you learn a lot in the trying.

Studio Portrait, 1st Place: “Gestation” by Gianni Eros Cusumano

I have always lived in big cities, now I live in a tiny medieval village surrounded by nature. My approach to photography, through wet plate collodion process, reflects the slowness of the place where I live.

I also really like portraiture, the result of a tension between me and the subjects in front of me that results in a unique image.

This plate (10×12 inch) is part of a series called “Gestation” consisting of four collodion plates on clear glass. Each plate is the result of a double exposure: one image of the silhouette of my pregnant wife, obtained through a backward illumination of the subject with continuous light; and another one of the grain I placed on a black background.

The idea come up during the period of my wife’s pregnancy and was created two days before my daughter Giorgia’s birth. Seeing the transformation that my wife had during her pregnancy time was an incredible experience. Day after day her body has become more and more beautiful and strong in order to protect the life she was carrying on.

Studio Portrait, Runner Up: “Waltnessmonsta” by Matt Alberts

Feeling frustrated with the meaninglessness of most digital photography in combination with a desire to make something with my hands, I found the wet collodion process. In February of 2013 I took a class taught by Quinn Jacobson and thereafter we became good friends. I related to Quinn’s philosophy that the collodion process should be used to create something meaningful; he took me under his wing and he became my mentor. While apprenticing at Quinn’s studio in Denver, I invited my close friend and skateboarder, Walter Lacey, over to show him the process and take his portrait.

The plate “Waltnessmonsta” was one of the earliest images I made for the LIFERS project series. This shot was made using a 11×14 Deerdorff studio camera with a 320mm CC Harrison Petzval lens. The image is on black glass.

Natural Light Portrait, 1st Place: “Ballet in the Castle” by Gabriel Kiss

This photo is the result of a three days long preparation and negotiation. The photo shooting took place in one of Hungary’s most beautiful castles, the Esterhazy palace. Because it is a scheduled monument we needed a lot of permits. With the figure of the ballet dancer I did not want to point out the dance but rather to emphasize the tension surrounding the dance itself, its edges and lines.

Natural Light Portrait, Runner Up: “Gravity” by Keira Hudson

I originally studied printmaking at RMIT University in Melbourne, Australia from 2009-12 before transitioning to photography. I worked digitally for five years until I grew tired of working in front of a screen and decided to enroll in a tintype/ambrotype workshop at Gold Street Studios in Trentham.

I am inspired by a mixture of artists, writers, films and TV shows, and have a large hard drive full of media collected over 10 years. The artists whose work I regularly revisit include Berlinde de Bruyckere, Jenny Saville, Lauren Simonutti, and Sally Mann. I am drawn in by the rawness of their work, and the treatment of the human body in their respective practices.

For the past few years I have been working on a series centered around anxiety, and the body’s physical and emotional responses to persistent overthinking. I incorporate props such as thread, clothing, plastic wrap, and glass vessels into my photographs to restrict and compress the flesh, and recreate the daily feelings of anxiety I experience. In “Gravity”, I wanted the body to be suffocated in a glass and water cage.

Still Life, 1st Place: “Incroyable!” by Libby & Stephen of Henrietta’s Eye

We are primarily self-taught having been introduced to wet plate collodion almost by accident when a friend showed us the basics of the process. Admittedly, there’s more than a little bit of punk rock, DIY attitude in us, so making photographs the hard way somehow naturally meant for us that we’d also learn the hard way.

About our piece, fully titled Incroyable! (Wednesday, November 9, 2016): intentionally referencing the surrealist painter Magritte, it’s our attempt at expressing the collective spasm of disbelief felt by many following the 2016 presidential election in the United States — not just the surreal nature of that moment but the outrageous nature of life since. Beyond the symbology of the carnation, the suit and tie and mushroom cloud-like explosion, it was thematically relevant to use the in-camera trick photography associated with the early 1900s spiritualist movement to express this communal gasp and the experience of being hoodwinked by charlatans.

Still Life, Runner Up: “The World and The Man” by Gabriel Kiss

My photo was born from the idea that the egg as the origin of our world – the birth – has already been set on its edge and has to balance on it. And the scissors as the sword of Damocles are swaying above the egg. The rope can break any time and they can smash into the fragile eggshell.

Landscape/Architecture, 1st Place: “A Quiet Lakeside” by Maximilian Zeitler

Last October someone broke into the shared place I use for a studio and stole nearly all my large format cameras and a very rare and big lens I got borrowed from a friend for ultra large format portraits. Gathering equipment for wet plate always means searching auction houses and hoping to be lucky. Since I started wet plate about four years ago I therefore tried to get good equipment to work – that then was gone.

When I had overcome the first shock I packed the last ‚portable‘ wooden camera and all my darkroom equipment and drove into the Spreewald near Berlin to escape the studio and all the bad thoughts. At this small lake in the woods I set up the camera from 1890 together with an old wide angle lens from 1880 and exposed one plate around 60 seconds.

One should always keep on doing what you love!

Landscape/Architecture, Runner Up: “The Best Day” by Lynnette Bierbaum

I started doing wet plate collodion two years ago and glassblowing shortly thereafter. I stumbled through being self-taught with wet plate in the beginning but wanted to learn more about the process. I took a wet plate collodion class taught by Dan Estabrook at Penland School of Crafts in the summer of 2018 and returned again as a studio assistant for Jill Enfield in the spring of 2019.

These opportunities allowed me to refine and continue printing on my blown glass forms. I strive to find a balance between two and three-dimensional planes within my art. I blow the glass vessels to create an extension beyond the photograph that is just as important as the image itself.

I use positives in contact with the wet plate emulsion under an enlarger to expose the images onto the three-dimensional glass forms. Next, I develop, and varnish before removing the frame from the glass.

The idea behind the forms was my constant search for belonging and a place to call home. I always knew that the Midwest wasn’t the place for me, so I started traveling around the world looking for my idea of a home. Home is more than just a place, it’s about finding the right person, community and artifacts to make a place your home. The image printed on this glass vessel was taken in Ebeltoft, Denmark.

You can find a gallery of Honorable Mention wet plates as well as the full gallery of submissions over on the competition website (warning: some of the photos are not safe for work).

from Photography News https://petapixel.com/2019/04/11/the-winning-photos-of-the-2019-wet-plate-competition/

[stabbedinthenameofscience]

I literally saw a post on facebook about Men’s Day that said “we need to look at issues unique to men like more dangerous jobs overall, like first responders, because most of them are male, and prostate cancer, and higher costs of something or other” as well as complaining about family court with someone later commenting on it about “patriarchy theory” being one way evil feminists hate and oppress men and another adding that abortion was a way to oppress men and deny fatherhood and I was like WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING?

Firstly, women are first responders, too.  Just because men have, for years, made the environments in so many of these careers toxic to women doesn’t mean women don’t do them, too.  There are more male firefighters not because men are more suited to the job, but because men are assholes and have scoffed and derided women out of those careers for way to fucking long.

Secondly, prostate cancer sucks.  But saying that we focus all the time on breast cancer and ignore male cancers isn’t the fault of women.  We have a prostate cancer awareness month.  It’s September.  But because BOOBS ARE A SELLING POINT TO MEN, you get all the pink shit in October.  Women may have brought breast cancer awareness to light, but without things like the “save the boobies” bullshit, nobody would probably care because bodies assigned female at birth generally don’t have a lot of people giving a fuck about them in other medical arenas.  I shit you not.  I know more than one somebody who had to fight for a doctor to diagnose why they were bleeding from the uterus for a lengthy amount of time.  There are a lot of cancers that get even less airtime than prostate cancer.  Some of them disproportionately kill children or immunocompromised people.  But you don’t see their colours splashed all over, either, and it’s because unless it’s can be made all about tits, nobody seems to give a fuck.  This isn’t because women don’t care about men.  Most women agree that ALL FUCKING CANCER SUCKS.

Thirdly, costs are determined by the owners of the insurance companies.  If you don’t like that insurance rates for young males are higher in one thing or another because they are seen as a higher risk group, maybe you should take it up with the companies in charge of that.

Fourthly, on family court, the children don’t automatically go to the mother.  If a judge is doing that, blame the judge and vote the fucker out of office.  Do something about it.  You have a special day already to take this one up and change it- it’s called election day.  I don’t have sympathy for men who gripe about the courts unfairly favouring a single side of a custody argument when they don’t research the judges on the ballot.  To add to that, I’ve also seen men complain that they deserve the kids full time because their mother doesn’t do enough for them when the mom has stayed home to parent as though having a full time job automatically entitles them to the possession of the children and makes them a better parent, no matter what the mother was doing for them or sacrificing of her own self.  

Fifthly, “patriarchy theory” isn’t a thing.  Patriarchy exists.  Talking about it isn’t meant to oppress men.  Wanting to tear it down doesn’t mean hating men.  Patriarchy is a system that values men over women and equates being anything like a woman or taking on their roles as weakness and failure.  This harms men, too.  This goes even so far as to create a culture where men don’t want to talk about being raped by either women or other men because it indicates they were weak like the women that are overpowered and they should be ashamed of “allowing” their rapes.  Talking about structures that actually exist is not oppression and it isn’t trying to guilt men because they are men.  It should be empowering because they can see where they have been inadvertently given a pedestal, but also all the cultural power to actually change the system so everyone is given a better shot.  This person was literally saying that it was oppressive to point out he had been given advantages based on sex.  This also has a name- male fragility.

Sixthly, until the people claiming abortion is oppressing can actually gestate another human, just no.  You cannot reduce another human to being a gestational slave for months in order to breed them like an animal.  WTF.  How is this argument even a thing?  If you want the kid, make sure the person who will be carrying it actually wants to first.  It’s called being a responsible human being.  Fucking have the conversation or make sure your birth control options are spot on- use a goddamned condom, for christ’s sake.  If you want that badly to be a dad, find someone who wants to have a kid with you and have sex with that person, don’t have sex and then try to turn someone into your own personal walking uterus.  Men are not oppressed because women want bodily autonomy.

Every one of these situations comes back down to a patriarchal structure in which men have been incredibly privileged (and I should correct that to say that it’s largely cisgender white straight men who are advantaged in this way, though privilege is a series of hierarchies and not a straight line- male identified people are still generally seen as more valuable than female and nonbinary people as evident in testimony from those who have transitioned and noticed a distinct difference in how they were treated).  Every one of these structures comes back down to how men have created threatening spaces (careers), objectified bodies (why breast cancer overshadows every other cancer), have been able to get away with literal murder and only been charged financially (insurance, sexual assault), have been seen as traditionally the owners of women and children (family court, abortion), and are allowed to function in denial of it all and be offended if anyone points it out (and don’t forget, everyone else, you need to be nice to your oppressors if you want them to side with you and give you rights).

Burn down the patriarchy and literally all these can be amended from the ground up.  Just rip that fucker to shreds and dismantle the mindset that men are in any way more inclined to leadership, challenge-taking, fiscal responsibility, careers, etc. than women.

Liberation for minorities leads to liberation for everyone.